"A little corporate humor" joke

A little corporate humor
I took some friends out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd, but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came with water & tableware; he too, sported a spoon in his breast pocket. I looked around the room, and all the waiters, waitresses, busboys, etc. had spoons in their pockets.When our waiter returned to take our order, I just had to ask, "Why the spoons?""Well," he explained, "our parent company recently hired some AndersenConsulting efficiency experts to review all our procedures, and aftermonths of statistical analyses, they concluded that our patrons dropspoons on the floor 73% more often than any other utensil; at a frequency of 3 spoons per hour per workstation. By preparing all our workers for this contingency in advance, we can cut our trips to the kitchen down and save time...nearly 1.5 extra man-hours per shift. Just as he concluded, a "ch-ching" came from the table behind him, and he quickly replaced a fallen spoon with the one from his pocket."I'll grab another spoon the next time I'm in the kitchen instead ofmaking a special trip," he proudly explained.I was impressed. "Thanks. I had to ask.""No problem," he answered, then he continued to take our orders.As the members of my dinner party took their turns, my eyes dartedback & forth from each person ordering and my menu. That's when, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a thin, black thread protruding from our waiter's fly. Again, I dismissed it; yet I had to scan the room and, sure enough, there were other waiters & busboys with strings hanging out of their trousers.My curiosity overrode discretion at this point, so before he could leave I had to ask. "Excuse me, but...uh...why, or what...about that string?""Oh, yeah" he began in a quieter tone. "Not many people are that observant. That same efficiency group found we could save time in the Men's room, too." "How's that, I asked?""You see, by tying a string to the end of our, eh..., selves, we canpull it out at the urinals literally hands-free and thereby eliminatethe need to wash our hands, cutting time spent in the restroom by over93%!" "Oh, that makes sense," I said, but then thinking through theprocess, I asked, "Hey, wait a minute. If the string helps you pull it out, how do you get it back in?""Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the other guys; but I usethe spoon in my pocket"!

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

193
52

Scientists have invented, at the cost of $75 million in research, a robot that repels eyeliner, lipstick & mascara.
You couldn't make it up!

25
17

A very absent-minded professor entered a crowded bus, with no available seats. Suddenly a little girl raised from her seat and offered it to the professor. He was astonished and said to her:
- You are a very good girl, what's your name?
- My name is Eve, daddy...

6
0

Once a young Brahmin went to the house of a very respectable Old Brahmin to
ask for his young daughters hand. "My dear Sir", he goes "I have heard that
your daughter has all the good qualities of a Bahu"?
The old brahmin answered "Haan! more...

18
9

Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for more...

14
3
Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 5 vote(s). 80% are positive. 0 comment(s).