Double Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Linguistics Lesson

    Hot 7 years ago

    A linguistics professor was lecturing her class.
    "In the English language," she said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. There is no language, however, wherein a double positive can form a negative."
    Just then, a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right!"

    Double Positives?

    Hot 7 years ago

    A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
    A voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'

    It Could Have Been Worse

    Hot 4 years ago

    There was an old country sheriff who always said, "It could have been worse." No matter what happened, the old sheriff always had the same answer: "It could have been worse."

    One day, two deputies in the sheriff's office answered an emergency call at a farmhouse. When they walked in, they found the nude bodies of a man and a woman in the bedroom. They had been shot to death. When they went to the living room, they found the body of a man with a gun at his side.

    "No doubt about it," one deputy said to the other. "This was a double murder and suicide. This guy came home and found his wife in bed with somebody else and shot them both. Then he shot himself."

    "You're right," the other deputy replied. "Double murder and suicide. But I'll bet you when the sheriff gets here he's going to say "it could have been worse."

    "No way. How could it be worse? There are three people in the more...

    A lecture about English

    Hot 6 years ago

    A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
    A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

    DOUBLE VODKA

    Hot 6 years ago

    DOUBLE VODKA A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodka." The barman says "Wow! you must have had one really bad day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!" On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said "WOW! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" "Yeah, my wife..."

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