"How do you double the value of a Ford Pinto?" joke

How do you double the value of a Ford Pinto?
Fill the gas tank!

How do you get frostbite? Cross a snowman with a vampire.

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How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick
What do you call more...

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Hey, did you hear about the...
Paper company that folded?
Brake company on the skids?
Bra manufacturers that went bust?
Surgeon who was forced to take a cut in his salary?
Cigarette company that went up in smoke?
Baker who was short of more...

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How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a circular and tell her to pee in a corner.
How does the blonde confuse you?
She pees in a corner

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1) You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
2) You think alkaline batteries were named for a tiger outfielder.
3) Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six-pack of beer and a bucket of smelt.
4) Owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your more...

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