Invention Jokes

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    The World History

    Hot 3 years ago

    [Original Author: Richard Lederer, St Paul's School]
    One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a
    student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably
    genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through
    college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.
    The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by
    Camelot. The climate in the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of
    the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular
    cube. The pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
    The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were
    created from an more...

    One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certfiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.

    The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

    The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my more...

    Arthur Davidson of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angle tells Davidson, "Well, you've
    been such a good guy and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven."
    Davidson thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God, Himself".
    The befeathered fellow at the Gates takes Arthur to the Throne Room and introduces him to God.
    Arthur then asks God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?"
    God says " Ah, yes."
    "Well," says Davidson, "You have some major flaws in your invention.
    Number 1 is there's too much front end protrusion, secondly, it chatters at high speeds, number 3 the rear end wobbles too much, and fourth the intake is placed too close to the exhaust."
    "Hmmmmm...." replies God, "hold on." God goes to the Celestial Super computer, types in a few keystrokes, more...

    Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Davidson, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven."
    Davidson thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God, Himself."
    The befeathered fellow at the Gates takes Arthur to the Throne Room and introduces him to God. Arthur then asks God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?"
    God says, "Ah, yes."
    "Well," says Davidson, "You have some major design flaws in your invention:
    1. There's too much front end protrusion.
    2. It chatters at high speeds.
    3. The rear end wobbles too much, and
    4. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust."
    "Hmmm..." replies God, "hold on."
    God goes to the Celestial Super computer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits more...

    Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Davidson, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven."Davidson thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God, Himself."The befeathered fellow at the Gates takes Arthur to the Throne Room and introduces him to God. Arthur then asks God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?"God says, "Ah, yes.""Well," says Davidson, "You have some major design flaws in your invention:1. There's too much front end protrusion.2. It chatters at high speeds.3. The rear end wobbles too much, and4. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust.""Hmmm..." replies God, "hold on."God goes to the Celestial Super computer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the result. The computer prints out a slip of more...

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