Binary Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Never write a line of code that someone else can understand.
    Make the simplest line of code appear complex. Use long
    counter intuitive names. Don't ever code "a=b", rather do something
    like:
    AlphaNodeSemaphore=*(int)(&(unsigned long)(BetaFrameNodeFarm));
    Type fast, think slow.
    Never use direct references to anything ever. Bury everything in
    macros. Bury the macros in include files. Reference those include
    files indirectly from other include files. Use macros to reference
    those include files.
    Never include a comment that will help someone else understand your
    code. If they understand it, they don't need you.
    Never generate new sources. Always ifdef the old ones. Every binary
    in the world should be generated from the same sources.
    Never archive all the sources necessary to build a binary. Always
    hide on your own disk. If they can build your binary, they don't
    need you.
    Never code a function to return a value. more...

    There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who can do binary and those who can't.

    When it comes to binary numbers there are 10 types of people - 1 who understands them and 1 who doesn't!

    Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeroes
    REDMOND, WA - In what CEO Bill Gates called "an unfortunate but necessary step to protect our intellectual property from theft and exploitation by competitors," the Microsoft Corporation patented the numbers one and zero Monday.
    With the patent, Microsoft's rivals are prohibited from manufacturing or selling products containing zeroes and ones--the mathematical building blocks of all computer languages and programs--unless a royalty fee of 10 cents per digit used is paid to the software giant.
    "Microsoft has been using the binary system of ones and zeroes ever since its inception in 1975," Gates told reporters. "For years, in the interest of the overall health of the computer industry, we permitted the free and unfettered use of our proprietary numeric systems. However, changing marketplace conditions and the increasingly predatory practices of certain competitors now leave us with no choice but to seek more...

    REDMOND, WA--In what CEO Bill Gates called'an unfortunate but necessary step to protect our intellectual property from theft and exploitation by competitors,' the Microsoft Corporation patented the numbers one and zero Monday.

    With the patent, Microsoft's rivals are prohibited from manufacturing or selling products containing zeroes and ones--the mathematical building blocks of all computer languages and programs--unless a royalty fee of 10 cents per digit used is paid to the software giant.

    'Microsoft has been using the binary system of ones and zeroes ever since its inception in 1975,' Gates told reporters.' For years, in the interest of the overall health of the computer industry, we permitted the free and unfettered use of our proprietary numeric systems. However, changing marketplace conditions and the increasingly predatory practices of certain competitors now leave us with no choice but to seek compensation for the use of our numerals.'

    A number more...

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