"Zippergate at the movies" joke

Hot 1 year ago

Subject: Executive Decision, True Lies, Beauty and the Beast,. ...

**Disclaimer: The following story, though based on a true story contains altered or questionable facts and statements. Names and places have been changed to protect the innocent, if in fact there are any. **

This is The Never Ending Story of a 9 To 5, Working Girl, and The American President. The latter of whom offered the former an Indecent Proposal. It seems this Top Gun was Addicted To Love, to Youngblood. He had a Basic Instinct, Fatal Attraction, for this Pretty Woman, this Babe. He liked to Kiss The Girls, and liked Boys On The Side.... but that's Oliver's Story.

Casual Sex? No, she saw Career Opportunities, The Sure Thing. She had Great Expectations.

It was to be a Close Encounter Of The Third Kind, a Mission Impossible. We're talking Risky Business, Dangerous Ground. Till now she'd played The Saint, but this would be Unforgiven, for she would break The Ten Commandments.

It Happened One Night. It would be An Affair To Remember. The Bodyguard would be the means of the Deliverance. She was in the Head Office From Dusk Till Dawn. She started with a Striptease, then Goin' South for The Fly. His pants Falling Down to his Sneakers, revealing The Pelican Briefs. Looked like there'd be Foul Play. She would Free Willy Two, and be surprised by the Hook. Up Close And Personal, she put her parted Jaws upon The Thing. She'd never Eight Men Out before, but he was Blown Away. Trading Places, he slipped his Goldfinger into her Paradise Alley. He could smell her Heat and taste her Primal Fear. Her Field Of Dreams began to Grease. Their Private Parts made Contact. He thrust his Shaft into The Abyss. She felt a Sudden Impact, and her Crimson Tide broke upon his Great Balls OF Fire!

He expected an Easy Rider, but she was a Twister, and Rocky Two. She squirmed Every Which Way But Loose. He drove his Willy Wonka with Speed into The Deep. Then Chitty, Chitty, Bang! Bang! He released Hot Shots of his White Squall into her Dark Passage. She felt The Wiz, then The Big Chill, and Speechless, Waiting To Exhale, let out a Scream. It was over in 8 Seconds.Then came The Long Kiss Good Night.

The Morning After, Dazed And Confused, she told her Circle Of Friends what had occurred. She said she was told if there was ever a Q&A by Internal Affairs to protect the President with Secrets & Lies. All The Presidents' Men wanted her to be a Liar, Liar. Unbeknownst, one of these confidants was Wired.

48 Hrs. Another 48 Hrs. 9 1/2 Weeks. Another 9 1/2 Weeks. Then seeking Fame and Big Fortune, this confidant would hold The American President for Ransom. He wasn't Above Suspicion, he was Fair Game. She thought,' I'm Gonna Git You Sucka!'. She told the press,' I Know What You Did Last Summer.' She Set It Off....a Chain Reaction which could Breakdown the Absolute Power of the President, Against All Odds. He'd be Better Off Dead, Fallen. Grumpy Old Men and Ordinary People will shout their Conspiracy Theory. His Misery would cause Dead Presidents to rollover in their grave. When the tapes are aired, he would be Coming To America.

However Suspect, the President was a Diehard In The Line Of Fire. He addressed the people and stated,' This is Much Ado About Nothing. Stand By Me. Right wing advocates will Say Anything, and should Never Cry Wolf.'

The First Lady And The Tramp also showed Courage Under Fire. Clueless, and without a Witness For The Prosecution, the Dragnet came to a halt. The American President was no longer Under Siege, and The Shadow over the Capitol.



Knock knock
whose there?
willy who?
willy he bang me harder?

It was near the end of basic training and all the soldiers were getting ready for the war games.
A private came charging into his Lieutenant's office and said " Lieutenant, I lost my rifle. What am I going to use for the war games?"
"I don't have time to more...

Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, goes by the nickname' Bibi'.

His wife, in contrast to most Israeli' first ladies', takes a more activist role in her country's affairs.

At some point in the ongoing peace process with the' Palestinians' there will more...

Questions are asked by lawyers.
Answers are given by witnesses.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Q: What gear more...

Serbian official press agency claimed today that Serbian forces shot down two F-117 Planes and four Ballistic "smart" missiles. Pentagon denied the statement, saying that all of them had safely returned to NATO's base.

Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 2 vote(s). 100% are positive. 0 comment(s).