Protect Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    ZIPPERGATE IN MOVIE TITLES PG 13
    Subject: Executive Decision, True Lies, Beauty and the Beast,. ...

    **Disclaimer: The following story, though based on a true story contains altered or questionable facts and statements. Names and places have been changed to protect the innocent, if in fact there are any. **

    This is The Never Ending Story of a 9 To 5, Working Girl, and The American President. The latter of whom offered the former an Indecent Proposal. It seems this Top Gun was Addicted To Love, to Youngblood. He had a Basic Instinct, Fatal Attraction, for this Pretty Woman, this Babe. He liked to Kiss The Girls, and liked Boys On The Side.... but that's Oliver's Story.

    Casual Sex? No, she saw Career Opportunities, The Sure Thing. She had Great Expectations.

    It was to be a Close Encounter Of The Third Kind, a Mission Impossible. We're talking Risky Business, Dangerous Ground. Till now she'd played The Saint, but this would be Unforgiven, more...

    1. Cover your stump before you hump.2. Before you attack her, wrap your wrapper.3. Don't be silly, protect your willy.4. When in doubt, shroud your spout.5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner.6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong.7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize.10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick12. If you go into heat, package your meat.13. While you're undressing venus, dress up that penis.14. When you take off her pants and blouse, be sure to suit up your trouser mouse.15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member.16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.18. The right selection! Protect your erection.19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil.20. A crank with armor will never harm her.21. If yo really love her, wear a cover.22. Don't make more...

    A camel decided to educate his son who she suspected was getting a little inquisitive.
    `Mum, why do we have two humps?` asked the son.
    `That is so that we can go for days and weeks without water. We can store it in the humps.`
    ` Then why do we have very long eye lashes mum?`
    `That,` he was told, `is to protect the eyes from the sand in a sand storm.`
    `And why do we have bulbous looking feet?`
    `That is so that we can travel twice as fast through the desert.`
    `Mum,` wispered the young camel, "Now I can understand, humps to store water, long eye lashes to protect eyes from sand storm and bulbous looking feet to travell fast in the desert, then what the hell are we doing in this zoo?`

    1) Cover your stump before you hump
    2) Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
    3) Don't be silly, protect your Willie
    4) When in doubt shroud you spout
    5) Don't be a loner, cover your boner
    6) You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong
    7) If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it
    8) If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
    9) It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
    10) If you slip between her thighs, condomize
    11) She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
    12) If you go into heat, package your meat
    13) While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis
    14) When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse
    15) Especially in December, gift wrap your member
    16) Never ever deck her, with an unwrapped pecker
    17) Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
    18) The right selection, is to protect your erection
    19) Wrap it in foil, before you check her oil
    20) A crank with armor, will never harm more...

    If we don't protect freedom of speech, we will never know who the assholes are.

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