Wuz Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    'Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through the shack
    Not a creature was stirrin', cept the lice on muh back.
    The skoal cans wuz nailed to the screen door with care,
    With hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
    The children were sleepin', all snug in their beds,
    While visions of tractor pulls danced in their heads.
    And Ma in her nightgown all stained with pound cake.
    Had just settled down to watch Ricki Lake.
    When out in the driveway, a loud noise I heard,
    I opened the winder to check muh T-bird.
    I ran to the door, like I's on a mission,
    But I tripped on some parts from muh granny's transmission.
    The moon shone outside, the hound dog wuz barkin'.
    Muh daughter weren't home yet, she wuz still out parkin'.
    When what to muh whiskey blind eyes should I see
    But a Chevy S-10, pulled by eight flyin' sheep.
    With a fat nasty driver, so disgustin' and sick
    I said "Shoot Fire!" That must be more...

    Billy Bob and his family moved from Alabama to Maine to so his Paw could find better work picking potatoes. The next day Billy Bob started his first day of kindergarten. When he got home he rushed to tell his Paw, "Paw, Paw, Teacher ast us to ree-cite the alpherbet today en Ah wuz the onliest one that could!"
    His Paw replied "That`s cuz you`s from Bama, son!"
    The next day he came home and told his Paw "Paw, Paw, Teacher ast us to count as high as we could en Ah counted the highest!"
    His Paw replied, "That`s cuz you`s from Bama, son!"
    The next day, he came home and told his Paw "Paw, Paw, today, when we wuz all in a line, Ah noticed Ah wuz the biggest of all! Ah bet that`s cuz Ah`m from Bama, huh Paw?"
    His Paw replied, "No son, that`s cuz yer 17 years old."

    Ebonics Crimmus Pome

    Wuz de nite befo Crimmus An' all ower de hood ereybody wuz' sleepin' Dey wuz sleepin' good

    We hunged up our stockings An hoped like de' heck That ol Sanna Clause Be bringin' our check

    All o'de fambily Wuz layin in de beds While Ripple and Thunderbird Dance tru' dey heads

    I passed out inna' flo Right nex to my Maw When I heard sech a fuss I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"

    I looked out thru de bars What covered my doe' spectin' de sheriff Wif a warrent fo sho

    And what did I see I said, "Lawd look at dat!!" Ther' wuz a huge watermellon Pulled by giant warf rats!!

    Now ober all de years Santa Clause, he be white But looks liken us bros Gets a black Sanna dis nite

    Faster dan a Po'lees car My home boy he came He whupped on dem warf rats An' called dem by name!

    On Leroy, on' Lonzo And on Willie Lee On Saphire, on Chenequa Dey wuz a site to more...

    Wuz de night befo Crismus
    An all ober de hood
    Everybody wuz sleepin'
    Day wuz sleepin' good.

    Everbody wuz sleepin'
    all tight in they beds
    Whilst Thunderbird Wine
    Danced in they heads

    I was passed out on de flo
    Right next to my Ma
    When I heard such a fuss
    I thinked "It must be de law!!"

    I looked out tru de barz
    dat covered my do
    Spectin' de sherif
    with a warrant fo sho!

    Now ober de years
    Sanny Claws, he be white.
    But it lookin' like us bros
    got a black Sanny dis night

    Now what I did see
    made me say "LAWD Lood at dat!"
    It was a huge watermellon cadi
    pulled by dwarf rats

    Faster than a po-lice car
    True de air he came
    an whupped up on dem warf rats
    an called emm by name.

    On Leroy, on Kendrick,
    On Jontarious Lee, on Falacious
    They was a sight to see

    He didn't go down no more...

    I heard this one on the radio, offered up by a Cajun cafe owner in Louisiana, so read it with a French Cajun accent... Leetle Jean and heez father lived down on zee bayou. Jean wuz a very strong boy for all of heez ten years of age. One day Jean's papa asked Jean if he wuz zee one who had pooshed their outhouse into zee waters of zee bayou.
    "Oh, no, Papa. I deed not do it!" say zee boy.
    Now, Jean's papa knew that zee boy had a mean streak, and being zee strong youngun that he wuz, he wuz certain that Jean must have done zee deed.
    He says: "Jean, now I really want you to tell me zee truth. Did you tip zee outhouse into zee bayou?"
    "Oh, no, Papa. I wouldn't do that!" say leetle Jean.
    Then Jean's Papa decides he must somehow win Jean's confidence to tell zee truth. He tells him zee following story.
    "Jean, oncest upon a time, our first president, George Washington, wuz a leetle boy jus' like you. One day heez papa asked heem more...

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