"Ebonics Xmas" joke

Wuz de night befo Crismus
An all ober de hood
Everybody wuz sleepin'
Day wuz sleepin' good.

Everbody wuz sleepin'
all tight in they beds
Whilst Thunderbird Wine
Danced in they heads

I was passed out on de flo
Right next to my Ma
When I heard such a fuss
I thinked "It must be de law!!"

I looked out tru de barz
dat covered my do
Spectin' de sherif
with a warrant fo sho!

Now ober de years
Sanny Claws, he be white.
But it lookin' like us bros
got a black Sanny dis night

Now what I did see
made me say "LAWD Lood at dat!"
It was a huge watermellon cadi
pulled by dwarf rats

Faster than a po-lice car
True de air he came
an whupped up on dem warf rats
an called emm by name.

On Leroy, on Kendrick,
On Jontarious Lee, on Falacious
They was a sight to see

He didn't go down no chimbly
-just picked de lock on my do'
An I says to myself-
"Shit! He done did befo'!"

He had a big sack
full of presents I spect
With Air Jordans and Fake Gold
to go' round my neck.

But he didn't leave any presents
-just started steelin' my shit
He got my drugs, my stoled guns
an even my burglars kit!

With his sack on his back
Out de winder he flew
I sho woulda catched' em,
but he stole my knife too!

He jumped on dat watermelon cadi
and pulled out a switch
He was gone in a second
dat son-of-a-bitch

I sho hope nex year
a white Sanny we git
' Cause de black Sanny Claws
jus' ain't wuf a shit!!

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