Clause Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Ebonics Christmas

    Hot 2 years ago

    Ebonics Crimmus PomeWuz de nite befo Crimmus An' all ower de hood ereybody wuz' sleepin' Dey wuz sleepin' goodWe hunged up our stockings An hoped like de' heck That ol Sanna Clause Be bringin' our checkAll o'de fambily Wuz layin in de beds While Ripple and Thunderbird Dance tru' dey headsI passed out inna' flo Right nex to my Maw When I heard sech a fuss I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"I looked out thru de bars What covered my doe 'spectin' de sheriff Wif a warrent fo shoAnd what did I see I said, "Lawd look at dat!!" Ther' wuz a huge watermellon Pulled by giant warf rats! Now ober all de years Santa Clause, he be white But looks liken us bros Gets a black Sanna dis niteFaster dan a Po'lees car My home boy he came He whupped on dem warf rats An' called dem by name! On Leroy, on 'Lonzo And on Willie Lee On Saphire, on Chenequa Dey wuz a site to see! As he landed dat watta' mellon Out der in da skreet I knowed it was fo' sho' Da damndest site I ebber did seeHe didn't more...

    Category: Bar Jokes Type: Stories Audience: Adult
    THANKSGIVING & CHRISTMAS
    MIKE WALKED INTO A PUB AND SAT DOWN AT THE BAR. HE ASK THE BAR TENDER FOR A BEER. MIKE THEN NOTICED A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMEN SITTING DOWN IN A SHORT SKIRT AT A TABLE ACROSS THE WAY. HE DIDN'T WANT TO STARE, SO HE KEPT GLANCING AT HER CONTINOUSLY.
    HE NOTICED THAT SHE HAD A TATOO ON HER INNER THIGH. MIKE LOOKED HARDER AND SAW IT WAS A TATOO OF A TURKEY. MIKE THOUGHT... A TURKEY? HE COULDN'T LEAVE IT ALONE, SO HE KEPT LOOKING AND SHE MOVED JUST ENOUGH TO SEE THE OTHER THIGH. IT HAD A DAMN TATOO OF SANTA CLAUSE ON IT. MIKE FINISHED HIS BEER AND HE HAD ENOUGH, IT WAS BUGGING THE HELL OUT OF HIM. SO MIKE GOT UP, AND WENT OVER TO THE YOUNG LADY AND SAID, "EXCUSE ME, I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THE TWO TATOO'S YOU HAVE ON YOUR THIGHS... I WAS CURIOUS WHY A TURKEY AND A PICTURE OF SANTA CLAUSE?" THE BEAUTIFUL YOUNG LADY BLUSHED A LITTLE AND SHE REPLIED, " I WAS ALWAYS TOLD IT WAS GOOD EATING more...

    Ebonics Crimmus Pome
    Wuz de nite befo Crimmus An' all ower de hood ereybody wuz' sleepin' Dey wuz sleepin' good
    We hunged up our stockings An hoped like de' heck That ol Sanna Clause Be bringin' our check
    All o'de fambily Wuz layin in de beds While Ripple and Thunderbird Dance tru' dey heads
    I passed out inna' flo Right nex to my Maw When I heard sech a fuss I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"
    I looked out thru de bars What covered my doe 'spectin' de sheriff Wif a warrent fo sho
    And what did I see I said, "Lawd look at dat!!" Ther' wuz a huge watermellon Pulled by giant warf rats!!
    Now ober all de years Santa Clause, he be white But looks liken us bros Gets a black Sanna dis nite
    Faster dan a Po'lees car My home boy he came He whupped on dem warf rats An' called dem by name!
    On Leroy, on 'Lonzo And on Willie Lee On Saphire, on Chenequa Dey wuz a site to see!!
    As he landed dat watta' mellon Out der in da skreet I knowed it was fo' more...

    on day santa clause, the toothfaire, and the easter bunny walked up to ahotel to rent a room. the lady at the counter said the only room they had left was the honted house room, and santa clause says "any room will do thank you" and when they got to the room santa clause went to the bathroom while the toothfarie and the easter bunny put there bags up well when they started to open the closet door the closet said "im the ghoust from beanie whenie you open this closet ill chop off your whenie.well when santa clause came out of the bathroom he seen the bags lieing and the floor and went to put them in the closet well when he went to open the closet it said"im the ghoust from beanie whenie you open that closet ill chop off your whenie" santa clause said" im the ghoust from christmas pass you come out that closet ill kick your ass.

    One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
    Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

  • Recent Activity