Dat Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Boudreaux. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun," so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.

    The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

    Boudreaux says, "Dat's easy," and proceeds to draw three trees.

    The boss says, "What the hell is that?"

    Boudreaux says, "Tree' n tree' n tree makes nine."

    "Fair enough," says the boss. "Second question, same rules, but represent 99."

    Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go sir," he says.

    The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

    Boudreaux more...

    10-inch Bic

    Hot 3 years ago

    Sven & Olaf were fishing one day when Sven pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Olaf for a light.
    'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter', he replied.
    Then reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.
    Yiminy Cricket!' exclaimed Sven, taking the huge Bic Lighter in his hands. Vere dit yew git dat monster??'
    Vell', replied Olaf,' I got it from my Genie'
    'You haff a Genie?' Sven asked.
    'Ya, shure, it's right here in my tackle box, says Olaf.
    Could I see him?' asked Sven.
    Olaf opens his tackle box & sure enough, out pops the Genie.
    Addressing the Genie, Sven says,' Hey dere, I'm a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?'
    'Yes, I will', says the Genie.
    So Sven asks the Genie for a million bucks.
    The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there, waiting for his million bucks.
    Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million more...

    The Job Interview...

    Hot 1 year ago

    Boudreaux went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself - I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun, so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.

    The first question was - "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
    Boudreaux says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees.

    The boss says, "What in the world is that?"
    Boudreaux says, "Tree' n tree' n tree makes nine."
    "Fair enough" says the boss. "Second questions, same rules, but represent 99".

    Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go sir," he says.

    The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
    Boudreaux answers, "Each tree is dirty now, so it's dirty tree' n more...

    Day 1 Dear Emile, Thanks for da bird in the Pear tree. I fixed it las
    night with dirty rice an it was delicious. I doan tink the Pear tree
    would grow in de swamp, so I swapped it for a Satsuma.
    Day 2 Dear Emile, Your letter said you sent 2 turtle dove, but all I got
    was 2 scrawny pigeon.
    Anyway, I mixed them with andouille and made some gumbo out of dem.
    Day 3 Dear Emile, Why doan you sen me some crawfish? I’m tired of
    eating dem darned bird. I gave two of those prissy French chicken to
    Mrs. Fontenot over at Grand Chenier, and fed the tird one to my dog,
    Phideaux. Mrs. Fontenot needed some sparring partners for her fighting
    rooster.
    Day 4 Dear Emile, Mon Dieux! I tole you no more of dem bird. Deez
    four, what you call “calling bird” wuz so noisy you could hear dem all
    da’ way to Lafayette. I used they necks for my crab traps, and fed the
    rest of dem to the gators.
    Day 5 Dear Emile, You finally sent more...

    Said to be true:

    There was a boatswain's mate named Johnny Johnson in the first division and he stood watches inport on the quarterdeck and on the bridge at sea. Some of his announcements on the 1MC (general announcement PA system) were classics ---

    In port, tied up to a pier in New York City:

    'Now sweepahs sweepahs start your brooms. Sweep down all lower decks, ladders, and passageways. Empty all shit cans ovah da fantail.'

    A very pregnant pause' Delay dat word on shit cans, empty all shit cans on da pier!'

    Another pause, now he's obviously reading something written by the OOD (Officer of the Deck).

    'Delay dat word on shit cans, empty all trash *receptacles* into the *containers* provided on the pier.'

    This was a different day but he was piping' general visiting'

    'Now all hands rig for genrahl visitin! All hands is reminded to watch der language, we got cunt aboard.'

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