Job Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    One-Liner

    Hot 1 year ago

    This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

    Work Excuse

    Hot 1 year agoby Tats

    A man phoned his boss "I need a day off today, something is wrong with my eyes". "What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss. "Don't know, but I can't see myself coming into work today".

    A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Boudreaux. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun," so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.

    The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

    Boudreaux says, "Dat's easy," and proceeds to draw three trees.

    The boss says, "What the hell is that?"

    Boudreaux says, "Tree' n tree' n tree makes nine."

    "Fair enough," says the boss. "Second question, same rules, but represent 99."

    Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go sir," he says.

    The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

    Boudreaux more...

    A Blonde airhead goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?" The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying "Ehhhh... 22!" The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?" The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces "Five foot two!" This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won't have to count, measure, or lookup. "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?" The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about ten seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying "MANDY!" The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he more...

    Mondays aren't so

    Hot 1 year ago

    Mondays aren't so bad...it's my job that sucks.

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