Clause Jokes / Recent Jokes

One time Santa Claus was out delivering presents on Christmas morning, when he came to the house of a beautiful young woman. He slid down the chimney, and there she was waiting for him in her best bathrobe.
"Merry Christmas, my dear," he said, "have you been a good girl all year?"
"I certainly have!" she replied. So he put all her presents under the tree and said "Well, see you next year!"
"But Santa," she said, "won't you stay with me for a little while?"
"That's very sweet of you dear," said Santa Clause, "but I've got a lot of present's to deliver and I really have to be going."
"But Santa," she said, "I've been waiting for you all year..."
"Oh no, no, no," said Santa Clause, "there's lot's to be done by morning, and what would Mrs.Clause say?"
"But Santa," she said slipping out of her robe, "just this more...

Santa Clause, the Tooth Fary, a Smart Blonde, and a Dumb Blonde were walking on a sidewalk when they all saw a 100 dollar bill. Who picked it up?
The Dumb Blonde. Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy and a Smart Blonde dont exist!

what did mrs clause say to mr clause dont go out in that raindeer

Little Johnny wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."

Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

Saint Nicholas is the main Clause.
His wife is a relaive Clause.
His children are dependent Clauses.
Their Dutch uncle is a restrictive Clause.
Santa's elves are subordinate Clauses.

What do you call Santa Clause after he's fallen into a fireplace?
Krisp Kringle

Whereas, the aggrieved party (husband) and the aggrieving party (wife) have been involved in a long standing dispute, and whereas we're tired of arguing over this stuff all the time, and whereas if you'd just listen to me you'd see that I'm right, Therefore come the parties together in a post-nuptial agreement, which I expect you to sign and then there's no need for further discussion.

Clause One: Whereas, there is one correct way to arrange the furniture in the living room, and whereas the husband's back is still sore from last weekend when, after moving the chair into the corner for about half an hour, the wife made him carry it back to where it was in the first place, it is now understood by both parties that the furniture is in the correct arrangement. There is no need ever to move it again.

Clause Two: It seems like the husband just got the Christmas decorations put up and now you want them taken down! So the wife should make up her mind. If the house looks more...