It was a very windy day and a little old lady was standing at the corner using both of her hands to hold her hat on while the wind was blowing her skirt up.
A very dignified gentleman approached her and said, "Ma'am, you really should be ashamed of yourself, allowing your skirt to blow around while you stand here holding onto your hat."
"Listen mister," she replied, "everything under this skirt is seventy-five years old, but the hat is brand new!"
Two men were riding a motorcycle on a windy winter day. When it became too windy for the passenger, he put his jacket on backwards to keep the wind from blowing it open. A few miles down the road, the motorcycle hit a tree, killing the driver instantly and stunning the passenger.
Later, when a detective visited the scene, he asked a policeman standing nearby what happened. "Well," the officer replied, "one of them was dead when I got here, and by the time I got the other one's head straightened around, he was dead, too."
In related news, a developer said a proposed wind farm site near DC is too windy because of its proximity to Joe Biden.
An ad on the subway in NYC: "Learn to read and speak English. Call us now." An Amelia Island, FL, podiatrist: "Emergency Foot Surgery- Walk-ins Welcomed." Sign over a restroom in a restaurant: "Used beer department." On a store front in Florida: "Your one stop shop! Beer ammo and liquor. Drive through open 24 hours!" A speed limit sign on Long Beach Island, New Jersey: "Smile, You're on Radar!" Seen in a State Park in California: "Weather Station (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope) Check the Rock. If it's wet, it's raining. If it's moving, it's windy. If you can't see it, it's foggy. If rock is gone, it's a tornado."An ad on the subway in NYC: "Learn to read and speak English. Call us now." An Amelia Island, FL, podiatrist: "Emergency Foot Surgery- Walk-ins Welcomed." Sign over a restroom in a restaurant: "Used beer department." On a store front in Florida: "Your one stop shop! Beer more...
Two guys were standing inside a building of a local theme park. They were looking outside, and it was an extremely windy day.The area's custodian, the one who had the job of sweeping up debris, was a very small woman (4'10"& 90 lbs) and she was having a rough time trying not to be blown away.When she asked her manager what she should do, he replied: "You have a warm down jacket don't you? Well put rocks in all the pockets!"Then a minister, who was standing nearby, suggested she say a little prayer to ask the Lord to help her cope with the wind.The park clown then sugggesed she could kill two birds with one stone by saying the prayer she said each night. He said, "You know, the one that goes:' Now I weigh me down to sweep...'"