Hanging Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Indecent Exposure

    Hot 2 months ago

    Indecent Exposure
    A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
    She says, "Why, officer?"
    "Because your breast is hanging out."
    She looks down and says, "OH MY GOODNESS! I left the baby on the bus again!"

    Suicide

    Hot 2 months ago

    A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park.
    A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself."
    "You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker. "I tried that," replied the blonde, "but I couldn't breathe."

    Your Breast is Loose

    Hot 2 years ago

    A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "OH MY GOODNESS! I left the baby on the bus again!"

    Health Inspector

    Hot 1 year ago

    The health inspector shut down the restaurant on the corner of main street and second avenue.
    A new owner rebuilt the kitchen area. The inspector was very impressed with the new kitchen. Stainless steel counters and shelves. Floors of white marble. More lighting install making a bright and clean looking work area. Tongs hanging everywhere, the food was not touched by human hands.
    The inspector noticed a string hanging from the cooks fly and asked "What is the string for?"
    The cook replied, "When I go to the bathroom, I do not have to touch it, I just pull it out with the string."
    "Oh how neat," replied the inspector, "how do you get it back in?"
    The cook responded "With the salad tongs."

    Cowboy Boots

    Hot 1 year ago

    A handsome mid-age couple, John and Gail, like living in Texas. Even though they have lived in Texas most of their married life John never
    had a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale at Sheplers one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife: "Notice anything different about me?"
    Gail looks him over, "Nope."
    Frustrated John storms off in to the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT NOW?"
    Gail looks up and says, "John, what's different? It's hanging down today it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again
    tomorrow.
    Furious, John yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, GAIL? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!"
    To which Gail replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, John. Shoulda bought a more...

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