A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a
pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom
together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. "Quick," said the
woman to the lover, "into the Closet!" and she pushed him in the closet,
stark naked. The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search
of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet.
"Who are you?" he asked him.
"I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator.
"What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.
"I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man
"And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.
The man looked down at himself and said, "Those little bastards... "
A man has a dog that snores in his sleep. Annoyed, because she can't sleep, his wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring.
A few hours after going to bed, the dog is snoring as usual. Finally, unable to sleep, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon and ties it around the dog's testicles, and sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed!
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring very loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him. So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him!
The woman sleeps very soundly.
The next morning, the husband wakes up very hung over.
He tumbles into the bathroom to urinate. As he is standing in front of the toilet, he looks in the more...
What do you call a blonde that just came out of the closet? The Hide and Seek champion of 1992.
There once was a very morbid girl who had three different boyfriends. She also had a home with three different closets. One of the closets contained old panties, another contained old bras, but the nastiest of all was a storage for used tampons.
One day, she took one of her boyfriends into the closet with all of the old panties, had sex with him, and suddenly locked him in the closet. She left him in the closet screaming for two weeks before he died of thirst and hunger. She did the same with another boyfriend, except this time in the closet with all of the old bras.
It was all going to be a routine for her to do this to the third boyfriend in the closet with the old tampons. However, when she returned a month later to make a deposit to her stash, she found the man alive and well in her closet.
With utter amazement and dismay, no doubt, she asked " How in thee FUCK are you still alive??!!"
The boyfriend cheerily replied " I couldn't have survived if more...
Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.