Glove Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card. The driver more...

    Me sir, speeding never!

    Hot 4 years ago

    A policeman was sitting on the hard shoulder watching the traffic go by when a car zoomed past him doing at least 120 mph!
    The policeman chased him down, and pulled the car over. He went up to the car and asked, "Do you know that you were doing at least 50 mph over the speed limit?"
    The driver replied, "Was I officer, I'm terribly sorry but I wasn't aware of that."
    The policeman said, "May I see your drivers license please?"
    The man replied, "I don't have one officer."
    "Of course you do," said the policeman.
    "No sir, I don't," said the man.
    "So why do you have this car?" asked the policeman.
    "This is not my car, I stole it," said the man.
    "You are driving a stolen car?" said the policeman.
    "Yes I'm afraid so sir,"
    Looking puzzled the policeman said, "Let me see the registration, so we can find out who it belongs to."
    The man more...

    Rookie Officer

    Hot 6 years ago

    A rookie officer pulled over a guy who was speeding.
    officer:May I see your license?
    Man:It is not valid.It has been revoked 5 times.
    officer:Well then can I please see the registration to the car?
    Man:this is not my car.I carjacked it.
    Officer:Well open up the glove box and let me see who it is regitered to.
    Man:I can't open up the glove box, it has my loaded gun in there
    About this time the officer is reaching for his gun.
    Officer:Well what do you have a gun in the glove box for?
    Man:Oh, I used to kill my wife who is stuffed in the trunk.
    The officer goes over and calls for backup.The police chief comes over and says,
    Chief:Let me get this straight, you are driving on a license that has been revoked 5 times?
    Man: No, Here, take a look,
    And sure enough it was valid
    Chief:Okay, but you carjacked this car?
    Man:No it is my car.Let me get the registration out of the glove box and show you.
    Chief:But don't you have a loaded more...

    A man went into the proctologist's office for his first exam. The doctor told him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes.
    Well, when the man sat down in the examination room, he noticed that there were three items on a stand next to the doctor's desk: a tube of vaseline, a rubber glove, and a beer.
    When the doctor came in, the man said, "Look Doc, this is my first exam... I know what the vaseline is for... and I know what the glove is for... but what's the BEER for?" At this instant, the doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door.
    The doc flung the door open and yelled to his nurse, "Come on, nurse!!!... I said a BUTT LIGHT!"

    A man and a woman are having an affair.
    One day, the woman's husband comes home early from work. To avoid being caught, the cheating man runs over to hide in the closet. As he closes the door he hears a little voice say, "It's dark in here." This startles the man, and he looks down to see the woman's son. He then asks, "You're not going to say anything, right kid?" The boy says, "You know, I could really use a new baseball glove," to which the man replies, "Ok, ok here's $25 if you keep quiet." "You got a deal mister," the boy says, and he leaves the closet.
    The next week, the woman's husband comes home again. As the cheater goes into a closet, he hears a voice say, "It's dark in here". The man says "What are you doing in here again kid?" The boy tells him, "I could really use a new baseball bat," and the man grumbles, "Yeah, ok, here's $50, now leave me alone."
    After a few weeks of more...

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