Urinals Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman."No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of GOLD!"She said she didn't believe him, so she called the bar."Hello," she said, "I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question; are your urinals covered in gold?"To which she heard the bartender say, "Hey, Clarence, - I think we found the guy who pissed in your saxophone!"

21 TYPES OF PEOPLE YOU MIGHT MEET IN THE MEN'S ROOM! EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.CROSSEYED: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.TIMID: Can't piss if someone's watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink.CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor.WORRIED: Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug.ABSENT-MINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.CHILDISH: Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.SNEAK: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will get blamed.PATIENT: Stands very close for a long while waiting, reads with free hand.DESPERATE: Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants.TOUGH: Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry more...

A man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman.
"No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of GOLD!"
She said she didn't believe him, so she called the bar.
"Hello," she said, "I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question; are your urinals covered in gold?"
To which she heard the bartender say, "Hey, Clarence, - I think we found the guy who pissed in your saxophone!"

Ever since man crawled out of the primordial ooze, he has built himself structures to contain the processes of bodily waste removal. These have been known as "restrooms," "bathrooms," "outhouses," "commodes," "men's rooms," and several other names. As with any exclusive organization, wholly half the human race aren't allowed through the door, and a number of exceedingly complicated customs have arisen to maintain a sense of order and dignity. General rules: 1. Don't talk to somebody you don't know. You may chat quietly with an acquaintance, but must absolutely not call attention to yourself. 2. A quick glance in the mirror is permissible, but absolutely don't spend a significant time arranging hair, clothing, etc. Zit popping is only permissible after checking to see nobody else is around. 3. No profanity of any kind. This is reserved for locker rooms, only. 4. If you must wait, form a single-file line, ragged, and be sure to keep more...

21 TYPES OF PEOPLE YOU MIGHT MEET IN THE MEN'S ROOM!
EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.
SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.
CROSSEYED: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.
TIMID: Can't piss if someone's watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.
INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink.
CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor.
WORRIED: Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.
FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug.
ABSENT-MINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.
CHILDISH: Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.
SNEAK: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will get blamed.
PATIENT: Stands very close for a long while waiting, reads with free hand.
DESPERATE: Waits in long line, teeth floating, more...