Occupied Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to spend the night with her for $500. So they do. Before he leaves, he tells her that he does not have any cash with him, but he will have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT. On the way to the office he regrets what he has done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he has his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following typed note: Dear Madam: Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that; 1) it had never been occupied
    2) that there was plenty of heat
    3) that it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home. However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large. Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check more...

    Voodoo Dick

    Hot 3 years ago

    There was a businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else.
    So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation, to the old man.
    "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except..." said the old man, and then he stopped.
    "Except what?" asked the businessman.
    "Nothing, nothing," said the old man.
    "C'mon, tell me! I more...

    A businessman met a gorgeous girl and offered her $500 to spend the night with him, which she accepted. Before leaving the following morning, he told her that he didn't have any cash with him, but would have his secretary make out a check and mail it to her, calling the payment, "Rent For Apartment".
    On his way to the office he began to regret what he had done, realizing that the entire event was not worth the price. Instead of the promised $500, he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following note:
    Dear Madam,
    Enclosed is a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because, when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that:
    It had never been occupied;
    That there was plenty of heat;
    That it was small enough to make me cozy and at home.
    However, last night I discovered that it had been previously occupied, there wasn't any heat and it was entirely too more...

    A proper English Gentleman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. So they did. Before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a
    check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."
    On the way to the office he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following note:
    Dear Madam,
    Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that:
    1) it had never been occupied
    2) that there was plenty of heat
    3) that is was small enough to make me cozy and at home. Last night, however, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.
    Upon receipt of the note, more...

    A proper man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. So they did. Before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."
    On the way to the office he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following note:
    Dear Madam, Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that:
    1) it had never been occupied;
    2) that there was plenty of heat;
    3) that is was small enough to make me cozy and at home.
    Last night, however, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large. Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately more...

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