Splits Jokes / Recent Jokes
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple. Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does. Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years. Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer. Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the more...
Q. How do you brainwash a blonde?
A. Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Q. How does a blonde part their hair?
A. By doing the splits.
Q. Why don’t blondes eat bananas?
A. They can’t find the zipper.
Q. Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A. Because red means “Stop, wrong hole. ”
Q. Why don’t blondes use vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.
Q. What do blondes do for foreplay?
A. Remove their underwear.
Q. Why don’t blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A. Cause their balls show.
Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A. Fertilized.
Q. How do blondes turn the light on after sex?
A. Kick open the car door.
Q. What is the worst thing about sex with a blonde?
A. Bucket seats.
Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A. She’s been laid all over the country.
Q. What important questions does a blonde ask her mate before having more...
Q: What happened to the cheerleader when she did the splits? A: 20 class rings fell out.