Slow Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

    Police in Oklahoma

    Hot 2 months ago

    A man was driving through Oklahoma when he was pulled over by one of the local officers.
    He man asked, "What did you stop me for?"
    The officer replied, "You failed to stop at the stop sign."
    The man answered, "I slowed down, didn't I?"
    "Yes," the officer admitted.
    "Well, slow down, stop, same thing." the man rebutted.
    At that point the officer pulled his night stick out and started hitting the man over the head. "Now, tell me, do you want me to stop or slow down?"

    Government worker

    Hot 6 years ago

    Kowalski worked for the Department of Transportation. One day he woke up ill, with a touch of laryngitis-but-being a dedicated employee he went to work. The boss felt rather sorry for him and didn't want him to do any physical labour-as they were repairing a part of the freeway.
    "Kowalski" he says "why don't you go down the road and tell people to slow down going through the construction"
    Kowalski is glad for the easy day: He stops the first vehicle:
    "Sir" he whispers, his throat feeling worse "please slow down, there's a Government crew up ahead"
    "Okay" the guy whispers back "I'll try not to wake them"

    Decorating Nuns

    Hot 4 years ago

    Two nuns were asked by the Mother Superior to decorate the inside of the monastery, but under no cicumstances were they to get even one drop of paint on their habits. After an hour of really slow going, one nun says "This is far too slow. Why don't we take off our clothes, finish decorating, then re-dress again? No-one will know..." And that's exactly what they did.
    But before long there came a knock at the front door so, quite startled, the first nun calls "Who is it?"
    "I'm the blind man" came the reply. So the nuns relax and the first goes off and opens the door.
    "Wow, great body lady! Now where do you want these blinds...?"

    Psychologists havediscovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight intotheir personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eatingOreos: 1. The whole thing all at once.
    2. One bite at a time
    3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite afterwards.
    4. In little feverish nibbles.
    5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
    6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
    7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
    8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
    9. I just like to lick them, not eat them.
    10. I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreos.Your Personality: 1. The whole thing - this means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with their children. 2. One bite at a time. You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat more...

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