Stop Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Ricky the Rooster

    Hot 1 year ago

    A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster-one that service all of his many hens and when he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied:' I have just the rooster for you. Ricky here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!'

    So the farmer took Ricky back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Ricky a little pep talk.' Ricky,' he said,' I'm counting on you to do your stuff.' And without a word he strutted into the hen house.

    Ricky was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Ricky had finished having his way with each hen. But Ricky didn't stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house, where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried more...

    Airline Announcements

    Hot 1 year ago

    Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight
    safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here
    are some real examples that have been heard or reported.
    From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may be 50 ways to leave your
    lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."
    Pilot: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going
    to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but
    please stay inside the plane till we land... it's a bit cold outside, and if
    you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."
    After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you
    enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
    As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a
    lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. more...

    Physics Puzzle...

    Hot 1 year ago

    Physics Puzzle... Nice one - try to crack it. ....
    Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers. One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years, tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.
    Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.
    The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment. He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived.
    The judge decided to set him free, and the conductor returned to his profession. After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately, this time more...

    An Absolute Genius

    Hot 2 years ago

    A butcher is very busy working at the meat counter when he notices a dog in his shop. He shoos him away, but the dog returns a while later. He walks over to the dog and sees that he has a note in his mouth. He takes the note and reads it, "Can I please have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb. The dog has money in his mouth as well."
    The butcher looks in the dog's mouth and, sure enough, there's a ten dollar bill. He takes the money, puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, and places it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is very impressed, and since it's closing time, he decides to close up shop and follow the dog. So, off he goes.
    The dog walks down the street and comes to a crossing. He puts the bag down, jumps up and presses the crossing button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to change. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following him.
    The dog then comes to a bus stop and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe at more...

    Police in Oklahoma

    Hot 4 years ago

    A man was driving through Oklahoma when he was pulled over by one of the local officers.
    He man asked, "What did you stop me for?"
    The officer replied, "You failed to stop at the stop sign."
    The man answered, "I slowed down, didn't I?"
    "Yes," the officer admitted.
    "Well, slow down, stop, same thing." the man rebutted.
    At that point the officer pulled his night stick out and started hitting the man over the head. "Now, tell me, do you want me to stop or slow down?"

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