Region Jokes

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    Shotgun Weddings

    Hot 1 year ago

    (From an article in the Globe & Mail, Jul 26, written by Bryan Johnson, in
    Pakistan:)
    First [he] tells of a pilot who spotted tracer bullets as he approached
    a runway in Northern Pakistan. So the pilot swung around and approached
    the runway from the other end only to find bullets winging by there too.
    So he tried to land on a road and cracked up.
    From whence came the bullets? Afghan rebels? Terrorists? No,
    just "one hell of a wedding party." In the Peshawar region, wedding
    guests can rent an AK-47 for a day for $2 or the use of a water buffalo.
    With tragic results. In one case, "jubilant" cousins accidentally
    "blasted away" the bridegroom's father. The wedding was postponed for 40
    days of mourning, then again celebrated amid "ecstatic volleys of flying
    lead."
    In another wedding in the region, shots from a wedding severed
    high tension electrical wires, the falling wires more...

    Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.

    Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients
    CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS TO BOSNIA
    Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters A, E, I, O and U, and is hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable.
    "For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and Glrm have been horribly butchered by millions around the world," Clinton said. "Today, the United States must finally stand up and say 'Enough.' It is time the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their incomprehensible words. The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavour."
    The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Movement by the State Department, is set for early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv more...

    Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First RecipientsBefore an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters A, E, I, O and U, and is hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable."For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and Glrm have been horribly butchered by millions around the world," Clinton said. "Today, the United States must finally stand up and say 'Enough.' It is time the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their incomprehensible words. The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavour."The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Movement by the State Department, is set for early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and Grzny slated to be the first recipients. Two C-130 more...

    George Bush Virus - Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until November
    Ted Kennedy Virus - Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened
    Warren Commission Virus - Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years
    Jerry Brown Virus - Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number
    David Duke Virus - Makes your screen go completely white
    Congress Virus - Overdraws your disk space
    Paul Tsongas Virus - Pops up on Dec. 25 and says "I'm Not Santa Claus
    Pat Buchanan Virus - Shifts all output to the extreme right of the screen
    Dan Quayle Virus - Forces your computer to play "PGA TOUR" from 10am to 4pm 6 days a week
    Bill Clinton Virus - This virus mutates from region to region. We're not exactly sure what it does.
    Richard Nixon Virus - aka the "Tricky Dick Virus" you can wipe it out but it always makes a comeback.
    H. Ross Perot Virus - same as the Jerry Brown virus, only nicer fonts are used, and it more...

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