Message Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    NASA and the Indian

    Hot 1 year ago

    When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who only spoke Navajo, asked a question, which the son translated: "What are the guys in the big suits doing?" A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got really excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the NASA folks found a tape recorder. After the old man recorded his message, they asked the son to translate. He refused. So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed, but refused to translate the elder's message to the moon. Finally, NASA called a official government translator. He reported that the moon message said: "Watch out for these guys; they've come to more...

    A Coded Message

    Hot 1 year ago

    One day, a French spy received a coded message from an American spy claiming it came directly from President Bush. It read: S370HSSV-0773H.
    The spy was stumped, so he sent it to his boss at the agency. His boss was stumped too, so he sent it to the Russians for decoding.
    The Russians couldn't solve it either, so they asked the Germans.
    The Germans, having received this same message during WWII from the Americans, suggested turning it upside down.

    Unengaged Brain

    Hot 6 years ago

    A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. The man tells her it will be $300. She exclaims, "I don't have any money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!!!"To that the man asks, "Anything??"And the blonde says, "Yes, anything!!"With that, the man says, "Follow me."He walks into the next room and tells her, "Come in and close the door."She does.He then says, "Get on your knees."She does.He then says, "Take down my zipper."She does.He then says, "Go ahead, take it out."With that she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands.The man then says, "Well, go ahead!"She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips, she says, "Hello...Mom?"

    Always walk with a document in your hands:
    People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. Those with a newspaper in their hands look like they're heading for the bathroom. Above all, make certain you carry loads of stuff home with you at night. This will generate the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
    Use computers to look busy:
    Any time you use a computer, it looks like 'work' to the casual observer. You can send/receive personal email, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These are not exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they aren't bad either. When you get caught by the boss, and you *will* get caught, your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable more...

    Boys Will Be Boys

    Hot 7 months ago

    It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang.
    "Hello?" I said.
    A girl's voice came over the line. "Can I speak to Ben, please?"
    I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I was bored.
    I replied, "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?"
    "Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded.
    "I think he said he'd be home around 10:00."
    Silence on the other end... a confused silence.
    "Is this Steve?"
    My name isn't Steve, either. This was definitely a wrong number.
    So I replied, "Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?"
    "Well... he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him," she said in a slightly irritated voice.
    I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at more...

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