Message Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    NASA and the Indian

    Hot 7 months ago

    When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who only spoke Navajo, asked a question, which the son translated: "What are the guys in the big suits doing?" A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got really excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the NASA folks found a tape recorder. After the old man recorded his message, they asked the son to translate. He refused. So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed, but refused to translate the elder's message to the moon. Finally, NASA called a official government translator. He reported that the moon message said: "Watch out for these guys; they've come to more...

    A Coded Message

    Hot 6 months ago

    One day, a French spy received a coded message from an American spy claiming it came directly from President Bush. It read: S370HSSV-0773H.
    The spy was stumped, so he sent it to his boss at the agency. His boss was stumped too, so he sent it to the Russians for decoding.
    The Russians couldn't solve it either, so they asked the Germans.
    The Germans, having received this same message during WWII from the Americans, suggested turning it upside down.

    This is about a guy who revealed himself as the biggest stupidass on a major international game site. His nickname was PolleZZ. At some point some other players took the nickname Webmaster and sent him a message, saying that there was a system update going on and that in order to keep his game statistics and player history intact, he had to reply stating his userid and password. The dork immediately did so, giving away his password (it was 1234512345). They used it then to spy on his games (making him lose all his games) and to submit moronic messages on the message boards on his behalf. Only weeks later he discovered this (not by himself in fact), so he changed his password. But then, some time later again, at some point he told someone which was his favorite soccer team (the Belgian team Anderlecht) and this turned out to be his new password! So they got it again because he gave it away a second time! By the way, in real life PolleZZ has a fat ass (literally) (a friend of his told more...

    Always walk with a document in your hands:
    People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. Those with a newspaper in their hands look like they're heading for the bathroom. Above all, make certain you carry loads of stuff home with you at night. This will generate the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
    Use computers to look busy:
    Any time you use a computer, it looks like 'work' to the casual observer. You can send/receive personal email, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These are not exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they aren't bad either. When you get caught by the boss, and you *will* get caught, your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable more...

    Message to Mom

    Hot 5 months ago

    This blonde goes to the Western Union office and says, "I just have to get an urgent message to my mother in Europe."
    The clerk says it will be $100, and she replies "But I don't have any money... and I *must* get a message to her, it's urgent!... I'll do anything to get a message to her."
    The clerk replies "Anything?"
    "Yes... ANYTHING!" replies the blonde.
    He leads her back to his office and closes the door. He tells her to kneel in front of him. "Unzip me..."
    She does.
    "Take it out... go ahead."
    She does this as well.
    She looks up at him, his member in her hands and he says "Well... go ahead.. do it.."
    She brings her lips close to it and shouts "Hello?... Mom?"

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