Spinach Jokes / Recent Jokes

How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?"Dam!"What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phonesWhat do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stickWhat do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheeseWhat do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milkWhat do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? FrostbiteWhat has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.Why do bagpipers walk when they play? They're trying to get away from the noise.What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.What is a polygon? A dead parrot.How do you stop an elephant from charging? Take away its credit cards.What's the difference between boogers and spinach? You can't get kids to eat spinach.What did the horse say when he fell? Ive fallen and I can't giddy up! What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public? A private tutor.What do more...

Elephant: i heard you had dinner with the monkey last night ant: thats right elephant: er... how come you invited him, you know he eats like there's no tomorrow he stuffs himself and asks for seconds and thirds! Ant: yes, i know! That's what i was counting on... We had spinach pie! Not banana pie!

Even Popeye didn't eat his spinach until he absolutely had to.

Health officials have discovered the source of a multi-state E. coli outbreak to be bagged spinach.

In other news, Popeye was found dead at his house boat in San Francisco this morning. His wife, Olive Oyl, said he switched to bagged spinach later in life, claiming he hadn't got the, "Muskles t'open da cans n'more!! Ak! Ak! Ak! Ak! Ak! Ak!"

What is the difference between boogers and spinach? You can't get your kids to eat spinach.

Diet for Stress How's your stress level? This should help. It is more than a diet, so read on... This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day.Breakfast:1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz. skim milkLunch: 4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast 1 cup steamed spinach 1 cup herb tea 1 Oreo cookieMid-Afternoon snack: The rest of Oreos in the package 2 pints Rocky Road ice cream with nuts, cherries and whipped cream 1 jar hot fudge sauceDinner: 2 loaves garlic bread 4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke 1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza 3 Snickers barsLate Evening News: Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)Rules for this Diet1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy jar are canceled out by the diet soda.3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do.4. Food used for more...

Due to an E. coli scare, Americans are being warned not to eat spinach. The average American, when reached for comment at a McDonald's, asked, "What's spinach?"