Scope Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill". The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing. "What's so funny?" asks the clerk.
"I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house", the man replies.
The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."
The man takes another look through the scope and says,
"You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"

Golfing Hitman

There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. One Saturday they are getting ready to tee off when a guy, by himself, asks if he can join them. The friends look at each other and then look at the guy and say,' 'Sure.''

So they tee off. About two holes into the game, the friends get curious about what the guy does for a living. So they ask him. The stranger tells them he's a hitman. The friends all laugh.

The guy says,' 'No really, I am a hitman. My gun is in my golf bag. I carry it everywhere. You can take a look at it if you like.''

So one of the friends dicides to check it out. He opened the bag and, sure enough, there is a rifle with a huge scope attached. He gets all excited and says,' 'WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look?'' The hit man replies,' 'Sure.''

So the guy looks for a second and says,' 'YEAH! You can see my house! I can even see through the windows into my bedroom. more...

This hit man decided he needed a new scope for his sniper. So he heads to this new shop that had just opened up and walks in. He introduces himself to the owner and tells him he has $20000 to spend on a new scope. The owner says "well i have this new one that just got in, it can see ages away. If you look through that window there you can see my house on that hill. "So the customer looks through the scope at the house.The owner asks "well what d'ya see?" the customer looks at him wryly and says "i can a man and a women running around naked" the owner reaches behind his counter and pulls out 2 bullets and says "if you take these 2 bullets and blow my wife's head off and that milk man's dick off i'll give you the scope for free" so the customer loads the bullets and looks through the scope and says "ya know what? i reckon i can do that in one shot."

a man and his best friend have a 12:00 pm tee time the man waits and his best friend doesnt show up he figures he mght have got held up at home and goes on without him he joins up with a guy on the first tee and he notices that this man has a very LARGE golf bag he kind of ignores it at first and continues playing golf... then he finally ask his new golfing buddy "why is your bag so big?" the other guy said "well sir to be honest... uhh maybe we should go behind that bush over there" so they go behind the bush and the man with the large bag looks around and says "alright my bag is so big because im a sniper" the man looks puzzled "like a hit man?" the hitman says "yea like a hitman would u like to see the gun i just got a new scope u should look through it" so the guy says ok and picks up the huge gun and looks through the scope and says" wow! i can see for miles....hey i can see my house and there is my wife...shes naked! and more...

A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill". The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing. "What's so funny?" asks the clerk."I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house", the man replies.The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"