Lowered Jokes

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    Sex drive is too high.

    Hot 6 years ago

    A feeble old man is in his doctor's office having a check-up. The doctor finishes the check-up says to the man, "So, you seem in fine health. Any problems?"
    "Yes, Doc," the old man slowly responded. "My sex drive is too high and I need it lowered."
    This took the doctor quite by surprise. "You're 84 years old, and you're in fine health for a man of your age, and I know men half your age who would kill for a problem like that. So, why are you complaining?
    "Well," the old man said, "I see all these sexy nurses at the home, and when I go for a walk, I see all these cute honeys all around, so that's why I'm here, Doc. I want my sex drive lowered."
    Still confused, the doctor said, "I would think that at your age, you wouldn't complain about a high sex drive."
    "Doc," the old man said, "You don't understand. I need my sex drive lowered from here," pointing to his head, "to here," more...

    The animals were bored

    Hot 3 weeks ago

    The animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. "I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I've seen it on T. V."He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the animals and they all got excited about it so they decided to play. They went out to the field and chose up teams and were ready to begin. The lion's team received. They were able to get two first downs and then had to punt. The mule punted and the rhino was back deep for the kick. He caught the ball, lowered his head and charged. First, he crushed a roadrunner, then two rabbits. He gored a wildebeast, knocked over two cows, and broke through to daylight, scoring six. Unfortunately, they lacked a placekicker, and the score remained 6 - 0. Late in the first half the lion's team scored a touchdown and the mule kicked the extra point. The lion's team led at halftime 7 - 6. In the locker room, the lion gave a peptalk."Look you guys. We can win this game. We've got the lead and they more...

    A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered."
    "Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?"
    "You're damned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered!"

    A feeble old man is in his doctor's office having a check-up. The doctor finishes the check-up says to the man, "So, you seem in fine health. Any problems?""Yes, Doc," the old man slowly responded. "My sex drive is too high and I need it lowered."This took the doctor quite by surprise. "You're 84 years old, and you're in fine health for a man of your age, and I know men half your age who would kill for a problem like that. So, why are you complaining?"Well," the old man said, "I see all these sexy nurses at the home, and when I go for a walk, I see all these cute honeys all around, so that's why I'm here, Doc. I want my sex drive lowered."Still confused, the doctor said, "I would think that at your age, you wouldn't complain about a high sex drive.""Doc," the old man said, "You don't understand. I need my sex drive lowered from here," pointing to his head, "to here," pointing to between his more...

    Hit Man

    Hot 6 years ago

    An executive with a new young wife and a yen for golf decided about December one year that he couldn't take it any longer. So he said to his wife one evening, "Honey, next Friday we're going to Hilton Head for the weekend. We'll get a condo on the golf course and I'm going to play golf all weekend." "That sounds fine," she purred. And, sure enough, next Saturday morning at 6 a.m., found him on the golf course, all alone. After playing two holes, he noticed a man carrying a golf bag walking toward him across a fairway. The exec. waited, and the other man arrived, saying, "Mind if I play along?" The exec. said, "Fine. Glad to have the company." All went well for a couple of holes, until each approached the sixth green. When the new fellow laid down his clubs, the cover came off one club. The exec. noticed, however, that it wasn't a club at all. It was a high powered rifle. "Whoa," he said. "That's a high powered rifle!" more...

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