Game Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Clinton at baseball

    Hot 9 months ago

    President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton's ear.
    All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, "Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!".
    She looks surprised but leaves.
    The pitcher looks at Clinton and says, "No, I said to throw out the first PITCH!"

    Chuck Norris Facts

    Hot 8 months ago

    1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
    2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
    3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
    4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
    5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
    6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
    7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
    8. Chuck Norris' blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.
    9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
    10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are more...

    The Lucky Frog
    Abe lives in Tel Aviv. One day, he takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. Abe thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. 9 Iron". Abe looks around and doesn`t see anyone.
    "Ribbit. 9 Iron." And then Abe realises that the frog is doing the talking.
    He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the hole. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow, that`s amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog replies "Ribbit. Lucky frog." Abe decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.
    "What do you think, frog?" Abe asks. "Ribbit. 3 wood." Abe takes out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one. Abe is befuddled and doesn`t know what to say. .
    By the end of the day, Abe has golfed the best game of more...

    A guy took his girlfriend to her first Steelers game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.
    "I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said.
    "What do you mean?" he asked.
    "Well, everyone kept yelling 'Get the quarter back!'"

    Game Show Contestant

    Hot 5 years ago

    Janet was a first time contestant on the $65,000 television quiz show. So far, luck was on her side since she had gained a substantial lead over her opponents. She had even managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had run out before the show's host could ask her the big question.
    Janet agreed to return the following day and was extremely nervous as her husband drove them home.
    "I just have to win tomorrow," she said, "I really wish I knew what the answer is! You realize I'm not going to be able to sleep at all tonight and will probably look horrible tomorrow."
    "Relax, honey," her husband, Robert, said reassuringly. "Everything's going to be fine."
    Minutes after they arrived home, Robert grabbed the car keys and started to head out the door. "Where are you going?" Janet asked.
    "I have one small errand to run," Robert replied. "I should be back soon."
    After an agonizing two hour more...

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