Game Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Spaniard name Jose came to Miami and wanted to attend a big league game. To his dismay he found that all the seats were sold out. However, the management gave him a high seat by the flagpole. When he returned to his home country his friends asked him, "What kind of people are those Americans?" He said, "Fine people, they gave me a special seat at the ball game and just before the game started that all stood up and sang `Jose can you see.`"

A Scottish man was at a baseball game.

It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly. The first batter approached the plate, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming "Run, Run!"

This happened two more times, with a single and a triple. The Scottish man was now excited and ready to get into the game.

The next batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called "walk" and the batter started on a slow trot to first. The Scotsman, extremely excited now, stood up and screamed, "R-R-Run, Man, rrrun!"

Everyone around him started laughing so the Scotsman, extremely embarrassed, sat back down. The fan sitting next to the Scotsman noticed his embarrassment, so he leaned over and explained, "He can't run because he got four balls."

The Scotsman immediately stood up and screamed, "Walk with pride, man! Walk with pride!"

Nuts~

Hot 6 years ago

A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands.

When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. When the National Anthem began, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!" The patients complied by standing up.

After the anthem, the doctor yelled, "Down nuts!" so the patients all sat back down in their seats.

During the game, one of the players hit a home run. The doctor yelled, "Cheer nuts!" so the patients all broke out into applause and cheers.

Considering things were going very well, the doctor decided to leave his patients momentarily and get some munchies and a beer.

When the returned to his seat, there was a riot in progress. "What happened?" he asked a fellow patron sitting next to his group.

The fellow replies, "Well... everything was going just fine until more...

Amazing Facts

Hot 5 years ago

* The term "bank teller" originated in the wake of the 1929 stock market crash, when banks began hiring low-paid workers to "tell" throngs of frantic depositors that their money was gone.

* Scandinavian berserkers used to cut out their eyes before battle to spare themselves the sight of the carnage they invariably wrought.

* The city of Slaughter, Texas (population: 11, 284), has never had a homicide occur within its boundaries.

* Rubbing Tabasco on one's upper lip before bedtime is an effective temporary cure for sleep apnea.

* British pop singer Baby Spice is the great-great-great-great-great-great-grandniece of Archduke William Pinkley-Hogue of Standishfordshire, making her 103rd in line for the throne of England.

* Moths are unable to fly during an earthquake.

* When in heat, female hippopotami secrete an oil with a flavor similar to strawberries. Kalahari bushmen use the oil to make flat-bread more...

Hunter Sardar

Hot 3 years ago

A Sardar went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by a game warden who didn't like Sardars. The game warden ordered the Sardar to show his hunting license, and the Sardar pulled out a valid Ontario hunting license.
The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, "This duck ain't from Ontario. This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec huntin' license, boy?"
The Sardar reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license. The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said "This ain't no Quebec duck. This duck's from Manitoba. You got a Manitoba license?"
The sardar reached into his wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license. The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said, more...

Fishin In Cajon Country

Hot 5 years ago

A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in South Louisiana recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a bayou well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Naw, ma fren, I ain't got none of dem, no. Deez here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
Ya. Avery night I take deez here fish down to de bayou and let dem swim' round for a while. Den I whistle and dey jump rat back inta dis here ice chest and I take dem home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The Cajun looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's de truth ma' fren. I'll show you. It really works."
"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"
The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"
"Well, what?" said the Cajun
"When are you going to call more...

1) You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
2) You think alkaline batteries were named for a tiger outfielder.
3) Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six-pack of beer and a bucket of smelt.
4) Owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your hometown.
5) You know how to play euchre.
6) The big mac is something you drive across.
7) You bake with soda and you drink pop.
8) You drive 76 on the highway and pass on the right.
9) Your Little League baseball game was snowed out.
10) You learned to drive a boat before you learned to ride a bicycle.
11) You know how to pronounce "Mackinac".
12) You occasionally cheer "Go Lions - and take the Tigers with you."
13) The word "thumb" has a geographical rather than an anatomical definition.
14) You have ever experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
15) You expect Vernors when you order ginger ale.
16) You know that Kalamazoo not only more...