Bullets Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Shotgun Weddings

    Hot 10 months ago

    (From an article in the Globe & Mail, Jul 26, written by Bryan Johnson, in
    Pakistan:)
    First [he] tells of a pilot who spotted tracer bullets as he approached
    a runway in Northern Pakistan. So the pilot swung around and approached
    the runway from the other end only to find bullets winging by there too.
    So he tried to land on a road and cracked up.
    From whence came the bullets? Afghan rebels? Terrorists? No,
    just "one hell of a wedding party." In the Peshawar region, wedding
    guests can rent an AK-47 for a day for $2 or the use of a water buffalo.
    With tragic results. In one case, "jubilant" cousins accidentally
    "blasted away" the bridegroom's father. The wedding was postponed for 40
    days of mourning, then again celebrated amid "ecstatic volleys of flying
    lead."
    In another wedding in the region, shots from a wedding severed
    high tension electrical wires, the falling wires more...

    New Scope

    Hot 4 years ago

    A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill". The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing. "What's so funny?" asks the clerk.
    "I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house", the man replies.
    The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."
    The man takes another look through the scope and says,
    "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"

    A woman, three months pregnant was walking by a bank when two robbers
    emerged from the bank. The security guards and robbers exchanged gunfire
    and the young woman was struck in the abdomen. At the hospital the doctors
    concerned for the unborn children decided not to do surgery to remove the
    bullets. 6
    months later the woman gave birth to triplets. Two girls and a boy all
    unharmed by
    the bullets. Years went by without incident when one day near the childrens 16
    birthday one of the girls when to her mother in tears. The mother asked what
    the
    problem was and she described that while going to the bathroom a bullet came
    out of
    her. The mother calmed her down and told her the story of the day she was
    shot.
    Shortly after that the second daughter emerged from the restroom and in
    similar
    circumstances started the story about the bullet. The mother stopped her and
    again explained the story to the second daughter. Suddenly the more...

    A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill". The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing. "What's so funny?" asks the clerk."I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house", the man replies.The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"

    A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill".
    The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
    "What's so funny?" asks the clerk. "I see a naked man and a
    naked woman running around in the house", the man replies.
    The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house, then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."
    The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"

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