Sad Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde was sitting on the train reading the newspaper.
The headline blared, "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed".
She shook her head at the sad news, then turned to
the stranger sitting next to her and asked,......
"Wow that is really sad, how many is a Brazilian?"

I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad, funny kind of movie, you know the type.

In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the movie.

After the movie had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man. "That`s the most amazing thing I`ve ever seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the movie. It`s remarkable!"

"Yeah, it is," said the man. "He hated the book."

Three men die and go to heaven. When they get to the pearly gates, St. Peter asks them each one question: "How many times have you cheated on your wife?" The first one answers "Never!" St. Peter checks the books, discovers the man is correct and gives him a Rolls-Royce to drive during his stay in heaven. The second man answers "Oh, about 25-30 times." He is given a Ford Pinto and sent on his way. The third man answers "Maybe 400-500 times" and is assigned a bicycle. A few months later, the three meet up and the Pinto driver, and the bicycle rider notice the Rolls-Royce man has a long drawn-out sad look on his face. Puzzled, the other two query him as to "why the sad face?". Mr. Rolls just looked at them and said, "I just saw my wife, she was on a skateboard!"

There once was an old man aged 50, who had a lazy son aged 30. The son couldn't earn his own living, and still depended on his old father for food and clothing. The old man was very worried about him, so he took him to the fortune teller to have his fortune told. The father and son both belie the fortune teller's prediction that the father would live to 80 and the son to 62. After having found out how long they were going to live the son was very sad. His father comforted him. "Don't be so sad! You are only 30 now, and still have 32 years of good days ahead of you." "I'm not worrying about my own age. It's just your age which causes me great anxiety," the son said. Upon hearing his words, the father was deeply moved, and in tears said, "Don't worry about me so much I've got 30 years ahead of me too." "I'm not worried about your age either," said the son, "I have figured out that you'll die two years earlier than I. So whom will I depend on more...

There was once a hillbilly who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat back and thought about it.
Suddenly he thought - "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am a hillbilly and make fun of me."
He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini."
Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you a hillbilly?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you a hillbilly or not?"
This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?"
The shopkeeper replied, "This is a more...

Bill, Jim and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75- story skyscraper. After a long day of meeting, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and Scott, "Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for the next 25 flights and Scott can tell us sad stories for the rest of the way. At the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car.!!!!!!"

Three guys went on spring vacation and booked three rooms at a
hotel. When they got to the hotel the clerk said there were no
reservations in the computer for them but they had an opening in
a suite they had.

So they said okay.

Then the clerk gave them the key, said it was on the 30th floor and the elevator was broken so they would have to use the stairs.
They said okay and made a deal the first guy would tell funny stories the 1st ten flights.

The second guy would tell scary stories the 2nd ten flights, and
the third would tell sad stories the last ten flights.

So the first told stories and they walked slow.

Then the second guytold stories and they sped up when they got scared.

Last the 3rd guy told sad stories and at the last stair he said, "Want to here the saddest story in the world" and the other guys said okay tell us.

He said, "I left the key in the lobby."