Rhythm Jokes / Recent Jokes
My friend told me these songs about Barney. I hope you like them.
(In rhythm to I Love You)
I hate you
You hate me
We're a violent family
With a great big gun
and a bang from me to you
Won't you say you hate me too.
(In rhythm to Joy To The World)
Joy to the world
Barney's dead
I barbequed his head
What happened to his body
I flushed it down the potty
And around and around it goes
And around and around it
And around and around around around it goes
How do musicians do it...
Altos are sandwiched between sopranos and tenors.
Altos have body.
Bach did it with the organ.
Band members do it all night.
Band members do it in a parade.
Band members do it in front of 100,000 people.
Band members do it in public.
Band members do it in sectionals.
Band members do it on the football field.
Baritones do it deeper.
Bass clarinetists put it between their legs and blow.
Basses and altos do it lower.
Basses have rhythm.
Beethoven did it apassionately.
Beethoven was the first to do it with a full orchestra.
Choir boys do it unaccompanied.
Clarinetists do it with alternate fingerings.
Contrabass clarinetists do it deeper with a lot of tongue and steady rhythm.
Cymbal players do it with a crash.
DJs do it on request.
DJs do it on the air.
Drummers beat it.
Drummers do it in 4/4 time.
Drummers do it longer.
Drummers do it with both hands and more...
A newlywed couple returned from their honeymoon and moved into the upstairs apartment they had rented from the groom's parents.
That night, the groom's mother woke her husband up. "Honey, listen!" she whispered. He listened and could hear the bed upstairs creaking in rhythm.
"Come on, honey! Let's make love," she said. So, he climbed on top of his wife and the two of them made love.
Just as he was trying to fall back to sleep, the bed upstairs began to creak in rhythm again. "Come on, honey!" his wife said. "Let's make love again."
Once again, he climbed on top of his wife and made love to her as hard as he could.
As he was trying to fall back to sleep about 15 minutes later, again the bed upstairs began to creak in rhythm. "Come on, honey!" urged his wife. "Let's do it again!"
He grabbed a broom and pounded on the ceiling as he yelled, "Kids! Please! Cut it out! You're killing your old man down more...
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie wentstraight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmotherand comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years oldhaving sex would surely be asking for trouble." Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advancedage, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells wouldstart to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "and if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie wentstraight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmotherand comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years oldhaving sex would surely be asking for trouble."Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advancedage, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells wouldstart to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "and if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"