Asian Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    By: Anonymous Santa didn't have time to visit Asia this year so he just gave them a wave as he he passed Fairy Liquid have donated a million bottles of detergent to the tsunami appeal, they heard that there were a lot of Asians washing up on the beaches. Ellen Macarthur's bid to circumnavigate the globe in record time has failed...

    She was beaten by a Sri Lankan on a deck chair Why are so many sharks in the Indian Ocean stricken with diarrhea?

    They've been eating Thai food all week.

    You know that Camp doesnt mean a cabin in the woods. The men in your family were gardeners, farmers or produce workers. The women in your family were seamstresses, domestic workers or farm laborers. Your Issei grandparents had an arranged marriage. One of your relatives was a "picture bride." You have Nisei relatives named Tak, Tad, George, Harry or Shig. You have Nisei relatives named Keiko, Aiko, Sumi or Mary. Youre Sansei and your name is Janice, Glen, Brian, Bill or Kenji. Youre thinking of naming your Yonsei child, Brittany, Jenny, Lauren, Garett or Brett, with a Japanese middle name. All of your cousins are having hapa kids. You have relatives who live in Hawaii. You belong to a Japanese credit union Wherever you live now, you always come home to the Obon festival. The bushes in your front yard are trimmed into balls. You have a kaki tree in the backyard. You have at least one bag of sembei in the house at all times. You have a Japanese doll in a glass case in your more...

    1. Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.
    2. Your dad is some sort of engineer.
    3. Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15.
    4. You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing.
    5. You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry.
    6. You shop 99 ranch.
    7. Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from.
    8. You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life.
    9. Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.
    10. You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest, or library.
    11. Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage".
    12. You drive mostly Japanese cars..
    13. You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
    14. You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even more...

    An Asian man walks into

    Hot 1 month ago

    An Asian man walks into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen and
    walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen, gets $66. He asks
    the lady why he gets less money this week than last week.
    The lady says "Fluctuations".
    The Asian man storms out, and just before slamming the door turns around
    and says "Fluc you clazy Amelicans too!"

    How do Chinese name their kids? They throw pots and pans down the stairs *Ping, pong, pang* Did you hear about the Chinese girl who won the lottery? She has one fortunate cookie... What do you call a Filipino Contortionist A manila folder. What do you call a Filipino walking a poodle? A Gourmet How do you Filipino The same way you Pakistani. What's the difference between a pot of lobsters and a group of Japanese tourists who've just been run over by a steamroller? There's no difference, they're all crustaceans ("crushed Asians"). What's yellow and goes "cheep, cheep"? A Chinese prostitute. What do you get if you cross a Black whore with a Chinese? A maid that sucks your shirts. What do you get when you cross an Abo with a Chinaman? A car thief who can't drive. What do you call a fat Chinaman? A Chunk. What is the title of the new Vietnamese cookbook 100 Ways to Cook Your Dog What did the mongoloid say to his dog? Down syndrome!! What do a lobster and an Asian run more...

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