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    I thought it would be a nice idea to bring a date to my parents'
    house on Christmas Eve. I thought it would be interesting for a
    non-Italian girl to see how an Italian family spends the holidays.
    I thought my mother and by date would hit it off like partridges
    and pear trees.

    So, I was wrong.

    Sue me.

    I had only known Karen for three weeks when I extended the
    invitation. "I know these family things can be a little weird," I
    told her, "but my folks are great, and we always have a lot of fun
    on Christmas Eve."

    "Sounds fine to me," Karen said.

    I had only known by mother for 31 years when I told her I'd be
    bringing Karen with me. "She's a very nice girl and she's really
    looking forward to meeting all of you."

    "Sounds fine to me," my mother said.

    And that was that. Two telephone calls. Two sounds-fine-to-me's.
    What more...


    Hot 7 years ago

    1. Stand perfectly still at the front window until someone on the street notices you. Quickly pull the blinds down, then, seconds later, peer around the blinds at them. Proceed until they a) Go away, or b) Call the police.
    2. Play the same CD on every stereo in the house at once. Try to synchronize them.
    3. SCARE YOUR PETS!!! Then cuddle them. THEN SCARE THEM AGAIN!!! Then cuddle them. Ahh, a nice, quiet cuddle-SCARE!!! No baby, it's okay... SCARE!!! If they run away, they'll be back, for food; make sure you're ready for action when they return.
    4. Sit on the front porch with a bottle of scotch. Yell abuse at pedestrians. Say nonsense. Wave your arms. Yell. For bonus points, colour a tooth black beforehand.
    5. Hide in the bushes near your mailbox and wait for the mailman to arrive. When he reaches for the mailbox, scream as loud as you can. If he tries again, scream again.
    6. Report a robbery to the police. When they arrive and ask what was stolen, reply "Only more...

    1. Rather than milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note stating that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
    2. While he's in your house, find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
    3. Leave him a note saying you're away on holidays and asking if he would mind watering your plants.
    4. While he's in your house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas, then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
    5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes wild when he sees a little red cape, just wait until he sees that big, red, Santa suit.
    6. Throw a surprise party for him when he comes down the chimney and refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.
    7. While he's still in your house, find his sleigh and sit in it. When he comes back out and sees you, tell him he never should have missed that last payment, and take off.
    8. Leave a plate filled with freshly baked cookies and a glass of milk out, more...

    1:00 am - Alarm clock rings
    2:00 am - Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed
    2:30 am - Throw everything except the kitchen sink into the pick-up
    3:00 am - Leave for the deep woods
    3:15 am - Back home to pick up gun
    3:30 am - Set up camp. Forgot the damn tent
    4:00 am - Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight
    4:30 am - Set up camp
    6:05 am - Head for the woods
    6:06 am - See eight deer
    6:07 am - Take aim and squeeze the trigger
    6:08 am - CLICK
    8:00 am - Load gun while watching deer go over the hill
    9:00 am - Head back to camp
    12:00 NOON - Fire gun for help-eat wild berries
    12:15 pm - Run out of bullets-eight deer come back
    12:20 pm - Strange feeling in stomach
    12:30 pm - Realize you ate poison berries
    12:45 pm - Rescued
    12:55 pm - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped
    3:00 pm - Arrive back at camp
    3:30 pm - Leave camp to kill deer
    4:00 pm - Return to camp for bullets
    4:01 pm - more...

    Dans un bar un gars arrive joyeux:
    -moi j'ai un QI de 180 !!
    un autre lui r

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