Reception Jokes

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    Priceless

    Hot 7 years ago

    Prelim explanation:
    It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.
    As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a manila envelope.
    He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.
    After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best more...

    At A Cocktail Reception

    Hot 2 years ago

    An officer in the U. S. Naval reserve was attending a conference that included admirals from both the U. S. Navy and the French Navy. At a cocktail reception, he found himself in a small group that included personnel from both navies.
    The French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans learned only English. He then asked: "Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you speak French?
    Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied: "Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you would not have to speak German."
    The group became silent.

    Top Ten Signs You're At A Redneck Wedding
    10. Rehersial Dinner is held at Hooter's
    9. Instead of "Friends of the bride or friends of the groom," the ushers ask, "Ford or Chevy?"
    8. Bridesmaids pick tube tops, Bridegrooms choose Travis Tritt T-shirts.
    7. Phrase, "I do" replaced by "I heard that".
    6. Tender rendition of the Wedding song performed by Cledus T. Judd.
    5. The Minister asks, "Who giveth this woman to be married?" and some guy in the back of the church stands up and yells, " Earnhardt!"
    4. Reception Conversation includes, "So what have you been doing since Hee Haw, Mr. Lindsay
    3. Snack Trays at the reception: Vienna Sasuages and Nacho Cheese Doritoes.
    2. Plans for the honeymoon evening include tickets to the Monster Truck Show
    And the #1 Sign that you are at a redneck wedding...
    1. Sign at the front of the Church reads, "No shirt, no shoes, no problem!"

    After a heavy night at the pub, a drunken man decides to sleep off his drunkenness at a local hotel. He approaches the reception desk, takes care of the formalities and heads off to his suite. Several minutes later, the drunk staggers back to the reception desk and demands his room be changed. "But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel." "I insist on another room!!!" said the drunk. "Very good, sir. I'll change you from 502 to 525. Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk. "Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."

    If any of you guys out there have ever thought you have balls, forget about
    it. This is a true story that just happened at a wedding at Clemson.
    This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the
    reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd.
    He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long
    distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank
    the bride's and groom's families for coming.
    To thank everyone for coming and bring gifts and everything, he said he
    wanted to give everyone a gift from him.So taped to the bottom of everyone's
    chair was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told
    them to open it.
    Inside the manilla envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex
    with the bride. (He must have gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired
    a private detective to trail them.) After he stood there and more...

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