Gift Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Take my advice

    Hot 1 year ago

    Take my advice: I don't use it anyway.

    The Bisexual Son

    Hot 1 year ago

    These four gents go out to play golf one day. One is detained in the clubhouse and
    the remaining three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee.
    "My son," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the homebuilding industry.
    He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so
    successful that in his last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home
    as a gift."
    The second man not to be outdone, told how his daughter began her career as a car
    salesperson, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "She's so successful, in fact, in
    the last six months she gave a friend two brand new cars as a gift."
    The third man's son has worked his way up through a stock brokerage firm and in the
    last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.
    As the fourth man arrives, they tell him that they have been discussing their more...

    Holiday Party Memo

    Hot 1 year ago

    FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
    TO: All Employees
    DATE: October 1, 2009

    RE: Gala Christmas Party

    I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

    Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

    Merry Christmas to you and your family,

    Patty



    Company more...

    A thoughtful gift

    Hot 4 years ago

    A young man wished to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note - romantic, but not too personal.
    Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he bought a pair of white gloves; the younger sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.
    During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents first, he sealed his package and mailed it to his sweetheart along with this note:
    Darling, I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears short ones that are easy to remove.
    These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks more...

    The Perfect Gift!

    Hot 4 years ago

    A guy walked into a pet store looking for a Christmas gift for his wife. The storekeeper said he knew exactly what would please her and took a little bird out of its cage."This is Chet," he said, "and Chet can sing Christmas carols and songs." Seeing the look of disbelief on the customer's face, he proceeded to demonstrate."He needs warming up," he said. "Lend me your cigarette lighter."The storekeeper lifted Chet's left wing and waved the flame lightly under it. Immediately, Chet sang: Oh Come, All Ye Faithful."That's fantastic," said the customer."And listen to this," said the storekeeper, warming Chet's other wing.Chet sang: O Little Town of Bethlehem."Wrap him up," said the customer, "I'll take him!"When he got home he greeted his wife: "Honey, I can't wait until Christmas to show you what I got you. This is fantastic."He unwrapped Chet's cage and showed the bird to his wife. "Now, watch more...

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