Manila Jokes

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    Priceless

    Hot 7 years ago

    Prelim explanation:
    It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.
    As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a manila envelope.
    He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.
    After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best more...

    Good 'ol Gary Lising

    Hot 6 years ago

    : Gary Lising (The following was copied without permission from the souvenir progamme of the "The Fabans & Friends - A Grand Reunion!" concert in Manila sometime 1996.) My name is Gary Lising. Secretary of Health Juan Flavier once said that I have a very nice name -- for a disease. I was voted as the sex symbol of Assumption College because according to them, I am the only entertainer that looks like a sex organ. I was already a celebrity even when I was a baby. I weighed 48 pounds when I was born -- but weighed only 3 pounds after I was circumcised. I was the only abortion that lived. I was such an ugly baby. My mother only puts the negatives of my pictures in our family album. I was a very thin baby because I was a breastfed baby -- I was breastfed by my father. I grew up to be a boy wonder -- everybody always looked at me and wondered. I studied at the Ateneo de Manila where I took up B. S. Economics. That explains why up to now I still am poor as ever. I went to the more...

    Here is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride`s and groom`s families for coming and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception. To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift from just him. So, taped to the bottom of everyone`s chair was a manila envelope, including the wedding party. He said that this was his gift to everyone, and told everyone to open the envelopes. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. He had gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them weeks prior to more...

    A Hilarious, True Story

    This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. This was a huge wedding with over 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage and took the microphone to talk to the crowd.
    He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and groom's families for coming and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception.
    To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift from just him. Taped to the bottom of everyone's chair (even the chairs of the wedding party) was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told everyone to open their envelopes.
    Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man getting it on with the bride. (He had gotten suspicious of the two of more...

    If any of you guys out there have ever thought you have balls, forget about it. This is a true story that happened at a wedding at Clemson. This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests (for you rich folk, this is huge by middle class standards)

    After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride and groom's families for coming.

    To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a gift from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told them to open it. Inside the manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. (He must have gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail more...

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