Radar Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Fast fun

    Hot 3 years ago

    (Heard on radio station CHNS, Halifax.)
    There was a young fellow who was quite inventive and
    was always trying out new things. One day he thought
    he'd see just how fast a bicycle could go before it
    became uncontrollable. He asked his friend, who owned
    an old Mustang, if he could tie his bike to the bumper
    of his car to test his theory. His friend said,
    "Sure."
    So the young man tied his bike to the back of the car
    and said to his friend:
    "I'll ring my bike bell once if I want you to go
    faster, twice if I want you maintain speed, and
    repeatedly if I want you to slow down."
    With that, off they went. Things were going pretty
    well, with the car driver slowly speeding up to well
    over 60 mph. The young fellow on the bike was handling
    the speed just fine. But, all of sudden, a black
    Corvette came up beside them and before you knew it
    the fellow driving the Mustang forgot all about more...

    Speeding!!!

    Hot 5 years ago

    Banta was quite inventive and was always trying out new things. One day he thought he'd see just how fast a bicycle could go before it became uncontrollable. He asked his friend, who owned an old Maruti, if he could tie his bike to the bumper of his car to test his theory.
    His friend said, "Sure."
    So Banta tied his bike to the back of the car and said to his friend, "I'll ring my bike bell once if I want you to go faster, twice if I want you maintain speed, and repeatedly if I want you to slow down."
    With that, off they went. Things were going pretty well, with the car driver slowly speeding up to well over 60 kmph. Banta was handling the speed just fine. But, all of sudden, a black Honda came up beside them and before you knew it the fellow driving the Maruti forgot all about Banta and his bicycle and took to drag racing the Honda.
    A little further down the road sat Officer Santa in his police cruiser, radar gun at the ready. He heard the two cars more...

    (copied from "What's New," newsletter written by Robert L. Park
    of the American Physical Society and posted in sci.physics)
    2. SAGDEEV CALLED ON THE U.S. TO MAKE A RECIPROCAL GESTURE. In a
    recent speech in London, the irrepressible former head of the
    Soviet Space Research Institute noted that the Soviet Government
    has offered to convert its gigantic Krasnoyarsk radar in Siberia
    into an international space research facility in response to US
    complaints that the radar would violate the ABM treaty. Sagdeev
    suggested that the US reciprocate by turning the unfinished US
    embassy in Moscow into a nuclear crisis reduction center. The
    communication system, he pointed out, is already in place.

    A few interesting public/police interactions:
    GOOD:
    A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting too many. Then, he discovered the problem. A 10-year old boy was standing up the road from him with a hand-painted sign which read, "RADAR TRAP AHEAD". The officer then found a younger accomplice down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket full of change.
    BETTER:
    A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of the $40. The police department responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.
    BEST:
    A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you're going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball". He replied, "Highway Patrolmen don't have balls." There was a more...

    A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
    The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60 perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.
    Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
    As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
    The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
    As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
    The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
    The driver says, more...

  • Recent Activity