Rectum Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A FRIEND OF MINE HAS AN 18 YEAR OLD SON NAMED LEROY. HE ATTENDS OAKLAND HIGH SCHOOL WHERE THEY TEACH EBONICS AS A SECOND LANGUAGE. LAST WEEK HE WAS GIVEN AN EASY HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT. ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS PUT EACH OF THE FOLLOWING WORDS IN A SENTENCE. THIS IS WHAT LEROY DID.
    1. RECTUM: I HAD TWO CADILLACS, BUT MY OL'LADY RECTUM BOTH.
    2. HOTEL: I GAVE MY GIRLFRIEND DA CRABS AND THE HOTEL EVERYBODY.
    3. ODYSSEY: I TOLD MY BRO, YOU ODYSSEY THE JUGS ON THIS HOE.
    4. STAIN: MY MOTHER-IN-LAW AXED IF I WAS STAIN FOR DINNER AGAIN.
    5. SELDOM: MY COUSIN GAVE ME TWO TICKETS TO THE KNICKS GAME, SO I SELDOM.
    6. PENIS: I WENT TO DA DOCTOR AND HE HANDED ME A CUP AND SAID PENIS.
    7. CATACOMB: DON KING WAS AT THE FIGHT THE OTHER NIGHT, MAN, SOMEBODY GIVE THAT CATACOMB.
    8. FORCLOSE: IF I PAY ALIMONY THIS MONTH, I'LL HAVE NO MONEY FORCLOSE.
    9. UNDERMINE: THERE IS A FINE LOOKIN' HOE LIVIN' IN THE APARTMENT UNDERMINE.
    10. TRIPOLI: I WAS GONNA BUY MY OLD LADY A BRA BUT I more...

    Rectum Deodorant

    Hot 5 years ago

    A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from his store on a regular basis and would like some more.
    "I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
    "But I always buy it here." says the blonde.
    "Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.
    "YES," said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
    She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"
    Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container...
    "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."

    All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.
    The brain said: "I should be in charge, because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
    "I should be in charge," said the heart, "because I pump the blood and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you'd all waste away."
    "I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."
    "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."
    All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.
    The moral of the story?
    You don't have to be smart or important to be in more...

    This is an Actual Article from the Los Angeles Times:
    "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying
    to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe
    Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomasszewski, and his homosexual
    partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after
    a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
    "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in,"
    he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon', my cue that he'd had
    enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered
    into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a
    hushed press conference a hospital spokesperson described what happened next.
    "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the
    tubing, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair more...

    A FRIEND OF MINE HAS AN 18 YEAR OLD SON NAMED LEROY. HE ATTENDS OAKLAND HIGH SCHOOL WHERE THEY TEACH EBONICS AS A SECOND LANGUAGE. LAST WEEK HE WAS GIVEN AN EASY HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT. ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS PUT EACH OF THE FOLLOWING WORDS IN A SENTENCE. THIS IS WHAT LEROY DID.1. RECTUM: I HAD TWO CADILLACS, BUT MY OL'LADY RECTUM BOTH.2. HOTEL: I GAVE MY GIRLFRIEND DA CRABS AND THE HOTEL EVERYBODY.3. ODYSSEY: I TOLD MY BRO, YOU ODYSSEY THE JUGS ON THIS HOE.4. STAIN: MY MOTHER-IN-LAW AXED IF I WAS STAIN FOR DINNER AGAIN.5. SELDOM: MY COUSIN GAVE ME TWO TICKETS TO THE KNICKS GAME, SO I SELDOM.6. PENIS: I WENT TO DA DOCTOR AND HE HANDED ME A CUP AND SAID PENIS.7. CATACOMB: DON KING WAS AT THE FIGHT THE OTHER NIGHT, MAN, SOMEBODY GIVE THAT CATACOMB.8. FORCLOSE: IF I PAY ALIMONY THIS MONTH, I'LL HAVE NO MONEY FORCLOSE.9. UNDERMINE: THERE IS A FINE LOOKIN' HOE LIVIN' IN THE APARTMENT UNDERMINE.10. TRIPOLI: I WAS GONNA BUY MY OLD LADY A BRA BUT I COULDN'T FINE NO TRIPOLI.12. DISAPPOINTMENT: MY more...

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