Property Jokes / Recent Jokes
One evening after the theatre, two men were walking down Broadway when they
saw a well-dressed and attractive woman walking just ahead of them. One man
turned to the other and remarked, "I'd give $50 to sleep with that woman."
To their surprise, the young lady overheard the remark and, turning
around, said, "I'll take you up on that." She looked neat and sounded
educated so, bidding his companion goodnight, the lucky man accompanied the
young lady to her flat, where they immediately went to bed.
Next morning the man presented her with $25 and prepared to leave. But she
demanded the rest of the money and threatened, "If you don't give it to me,
I'll sue."
The man only laughed, saying, "I'd like to see you get it on those
grounds."
He was surprised to receive a summons the next day, ordering his presence in
court as a defendant in a lawsuit. When he told his lawer the details more...
A city boy went duck hunting in the country one day. While hunting
he shot a duck which fell on the property of a farmer. The boy crawled
over the fence to claim his kill. But, the farmer, seeing what had
happened rushed out with his shotgun and yelled, "See here! That duck
belongs too me!"
The city boy replies, "But I shot the duck, therefore it belongs to me!"
The farmer says, "It fell on my property so it belongs to me!" They
continue to argue, each claiming ownership of the duck. After awhile the
farmer says, "We should settle this the old-fashioned way."
The city boy asks, "What is the 'old-fashioned way'?"
The farmer explains, "First, I kick you in the groin. Then, you kick
me in the groin and we continue in this fashion until one of us gives up.
The one who wins gets the duck."
The city boy, willing to do anything to get his duck and leave, agrees
to the contest. more...
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral.
The title to the property dated back
to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.
After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral proper back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.
"Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note
that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 more...
Dog Property Laws
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, its mine.
8. If I saw it first, its mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, its yours.
Weird Local USA Sex Laws
No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you-or holding you in his arms.
Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown-if they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!)
During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.
In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear patent-leather shoes.
Clinton, Oklahoma has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.
It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. more...