"Property Suit" joke
One evening after the theatre, two men were walking down Broadway when they
saw a well-dressed and attractive woman walking just ahead of them. One man
turned to the other and remarked, "I'd give $50 to sleep with that woman."
To their surprise, the young lady overheard the remark and, turning
around, said, "I'll take you up on that." She looked neat and sounded
educated so, bidding his companion goodnight, the lucky man accompanied the
young lady to her flat, where they immediately went to bed.
Next morning the man presented her with $25 and prepared to leave. But she
demanded the rest of the money and threatened, "If you don't give it to me,
The man only laughed, saying, "I'd like to see you get it on those
He was surprised to receive a summons the next day, ordering his presence in
court as a defendant in a lawsuit. When he told his lawer the details of
the case, he was assured that there were no grounds on which the young lady
could succeed in law.
After the usual preliminaries, the woman's lawer addressed the court as
Your Honor, my client, this lady here, is the owner of a peice of property,
a garden spot surrounded by a profuse growth of shrubbery, which she agreed to
rent to the defendant for a specified length of time for the sum of $50.
The defendant took possession of the property, used it extensively for the
purpose for which it was rented; but, upon evacuating the premises, he paid
only $25, one half the amount agreed upon. The rent was not excessive,
since it was restricted property with vacant possession, and we ask that
judgment be granted against the defendant to assure payment of the balance.
The man's lawyer was amused and impressed by the way his opponent had
presented the case. He replied:
Your Honor, my client agrees that the young lady has a fine piece of
property, that he did rent such property for a while, and that a degree of
pleasure was derived from the transaction. However, my client found a well
on the property, around which he placed his own stones, sunk a shaft, and
erected a pump--all labor personally performed by him. We claim these
improvements to the property were sufficient to offset the unpaid amount and
that the plaintiff has been adequately compensated for the rental of said
property. We therefore ask that no judgment be granted.
When it came time for the rebuttal, the young lady's lawyer rejoined:
Your Honor, my client agrees the defendant did find a well on the property
and that he did make desirable improvements as my opponent has described.
However, had the defendant not known the well existed, he would never have
rented the property. Also, upon evacuating the premises, the defendant
removed the stones, pulled out the shaft, and took the pump with him. In so
doing, he not only dragged his equipment through the shrubbery but left the
hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy, making it easily
accessible to little children.
Judgment was entered for the plaintiff.
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