Property Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Loan application

    Hot 5 years ago

    A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral.
    The title to the property dated back
    to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.
    After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
    "Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral proper back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.
    "Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
    "Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note
    that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 more...

    Property Suit

    Hot 2 years ago

    One evening after the theatre, two men were walking down Broadway when they
    saw a well-dressed and attractive woman walking just ahead of them. One man
    turned to the other and remarked, "I'd give $50 to sleep with that woman."
    To their surprise, the young lady overheard the remark and, turning
    around, said, "I'll take you up on that." She looked neat and sounded
    educated so, bidding his companion goodnight, the lucky man accompanied the
    young lady to her flat, where they immediately went to bed.
    Next morning the man presented her with $25 and prepared to leave. But she
    demanded the rest of the money and threatened, "If you don't give it to me,
    I'll sue."
    The man only laughed, saying, "I'd like to see you get it on those
    grounds."
    He was surprised to receive a summons the next day, ordering his presence in
    court as a defendant in a lawsuit. When he told his lawer the details more...

    Ducky..

    Hot 1 year ago

    A city boy went duck hunting in the country one day. While hunting
    he shot a duck which fell on the property of a farmer. The boy crawled
    over the fence to claim his kill. But, the farmer, seeing what had
    happened rushed out with his shotgun and yelled, "See here! That duck
    belongs too me!"
    The city boy replies, "But I shot the duck, therefore it belongs to me!"
    The farmer says, "It fell on my property so it belongs to me!" They
    continue to argue, each claiming ownership of the duck. After awhile the
    farmer says, "We should settle this the old-fashioned way."
    The city boy asks, "What is the 'old-fashioned way'?"
    The farmer explains, "First, I kick you in the groin. Then, you kick
    me in the groin and we continue in this fashion until one of us gives up.
    The one who wins gets the duck."
    The city boy, willing to do anything to get his duck and leave, agrees
    to the contest. more...

    A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. "Professionally employed?" he asked.
    "We're a military family," the wife answered.
    "Children?"
    "Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly.
    "Animals?"
    "Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved."

    Dog Property Laws
    1. If I like it, it's mine.
    2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
    3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
    4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
    5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
    6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
    7. If it just looks like mine, its mine.
    8. If I saw it first, its mine.
    9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
    10. If its broken, its yours.

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