Privates Jokes / Recent Jokes

How To Shower Like A Man:
1 - Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2 - Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo" sound.
3 - Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror, scratch your "privates" and smell your fingers for one last whiff.
4 - Get in the shower.
5 - Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
6 - Wash your face.
7 - Wash your armpits.
8 - Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
9 - Wash your privates and surrounding area.
10 - Wash your butt, leaving hair on the soap bar.
11 - Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
12 - Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13 - Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
14 - Pee (in the shower).
15 - Rinse off and get out of the more...

How To Shower Like A Man:1 - Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.2 - Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo" sound.3 - Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror, scratch your "privates" and smell your fingers for one last whiff.4 - Get in the shower.5 - Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).6 - Wash your face.7 - Wash your armpits.8 - Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.9 - Wash your privates and surrounding area.10 - Wash your butt, leaving hair on the soap bar.11 - Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).12 - Make a shampoo Mohawk.13 - Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.14 - Pee (in the shower).15 - Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging more...

Ribbons for Snoring
A woman walks into a restaraunt to have lunch with an old friend of hers. When she sees her old friend she is looking very tired and pale. She asks her friend what the problem is and she says that she isnt getting any sleep due to her husbands snoring at night. She says, "oh i know a good remedy for that, all you have to do is when he starts to snore, find a blue ribbon and tie it around his privates." Her friend then agrees to try it out that night.
That night she wakes up to her husbands snoring and decides to try her friends method of curing it. So she goes into her closet and finds a blue ribbon and proceeds to tie it around his privates. Her husband immediately stops snoring and she says this is wonderful and then dozes off to sleep. About an hour later she wakes up to snoring again, looks over at her husband and hes not snoring and then looks to the floor and sees that the dog is snoring. So she decides to try the method on the dog. She goes more...

How To Shower Like A Man: 1 - Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2 - Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo" sound. 3 - Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror, scratch your "privates" and smell your fingers for one last whiff. 4 - Get in the shower. 5 - Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one). 6 - Wash your face. 7 - Wash your armpits. 8 - Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower. 9 - Wash your privates and surrounding area. 10 - Wash your butt, leaving hair on the soap bar. 11 - Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner). 12 - Make a shampoo Mohawk. 13 - Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror. 14 - Pee (in the shower). 15 - Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the more...

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
Take off clothing and place in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
Look at your womanly physique in mirror and stick out gut so you can complain and whine even more about getting fat.
Get in shower.
Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
Condition hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil.
Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as more...

How To Shower Like a Woman
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband
along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so
that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.
Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.
Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with
natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red
and raw.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut more...

How to Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry basket
according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If husband seen along the way cover any exposed
flesh and rush to the bathroom.
Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly.
Complain and whine about getting fat.
Get in shower.
Look for facecloth, arm cloth, loin cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.
Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.
Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added
vitamins.
Condition hair with cucumber and lamphrey conditioner with enhanced
natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red
raw.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair taking at more...