Wash Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands.
    After dinner one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things get hot the female doctor interrupts and says she has to go and wash her hands. Once she comes back they go for it. After the sex session she gets up and says she is going to wash her hands.
    As she comes back the male doctor says I bet you are a surgeon.
    She confirms and asks how he knew.
    Easy youre always washing your hands.
    She then says I bet youre an anesthesiologist.
    Male doctor: Wow how did you guess?
    Female doctor: I didnt feel a thing.

    you have a 'barrel man' in your house, you may be filipino...(you know.. the wooden man... when you lift up the barrel----schwing!!!) you wash your clothes by hand, you might be Filipino. you use walis tambo and walis ting-ting, you just might be Filipino. you nail all photographs on your walls in the living room, you're a Filipino. you have a very good sense of maniana habit, you might be Filipino. you smoke in your house you put up your knee while eating you eat kanin and ulam using your hand you are pakialamero you say Sugarol, babaero at tumador you are chismosa you say Comfort Room instead of Restroom. you say For Take Out instead of to go. you point w/ your lips, then you might be a Filipino. you say open or close the lights, then you might be a Filipino. you nod upwards to greet someone, you might be a Filipino. your nickname is 'boy', you might be a Filipino. you ask for a Colgate instead of toothpaste, you might be a Filipino. you say 'Canteen' instead of cafeteria, then you more...

    Dog Wash

    Hot 1 year ago

    A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner grocery picking out a large size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.

    "Nope, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." "But, you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."

    But, the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.

    About a week later, the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.

    "Oh, he died," the boy said.

    The grocer, trying not to be an "I-told-you-so" said he was sorry the dog died, but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your more...

    The Wash Cloth

    Hot 6 years ago

    (There is not a woman alive today who won't crack up over this!)I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the
    week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to
    tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when
    making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the
    full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in "that area" to make sure I was at least presentable.I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes,
    hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called
    in. more...

    How to Shower Like a Man

    Hot 6 years ago

    1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
    2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo" sound.
    3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror, scratch
    your "privates" and smell your fingers for one last whiff.
    4. Get in the shower.
    5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
    6. Wash your face.
    7. Wash your armpits.
    8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
    9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.
    10. Wash your butt, leaving hair on the soap bar.
    11. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
    12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
    13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
    14. Pee (in the shower).
    15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor more...

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