Pickle Jokes

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    A Cucumber a Pickle and a Penis

    Hot 3 months agoby
    Koi

    A Cucumber a Pickle and a penis are sitting around talking about how difficult each of their lives are. The cucumber says "I have it the toughest i get chopped up and put into salads." The pickle responds " well i get put into a jar for months filled with my own urine." The Penis looks at them both and laughs at them "You guys have it easy" "I get shoved into dark caves 4 days of the week and have to do pushups until i puke."

    One day a penis, a pickle and a cucumber were all standing around talking about how much their lifes suck.
    The Cucumber said "
    Imagine sitting in dirt all your life and then shoved in a bag, tossed around, drenched it water and then cut up into little pieces."
    Then the Pickle chimed in with, "
    You think thats bad, try having to deal with being put in a tub of water, almost drowning, and then having a ceiling put on top so you sufocate to death."
    Then the Penis spoke "
    whatever, you guys got it easy....All my life i've gotten beaten, pushed and pulled, have bags put over my head and then hit against a wall until I throw up."

    Once upon a time, a little boy lived by a river. It was a very boring river because the land was so flat there.

    One day, the boy was eating lunch by the river, munching on a kosher pickle. All of the sudden, an idea comes to him and he pitches the pickle into the river. Instantly, the river is transformed into a majestic waterfall!

    People came from miles around to witness the miracle. After seeing the beautiful waterfall, they turned to the little boy. "How," they asked, "how did you know to toss the kosher pickle into the river?" The little boy smiled and answered, "I just thought of that old adage--you know, that dill waters run steep!"

    A lady stumbles into a bar.
    She says, "Beertender, give me a dribble martuni, and put a pickle in it."
    He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.
    She says, "Beertender, give me another dribble martuni, and put a pickle in it." He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.
    She says, "Beertender, give me another dribble martuni, and you better put two pickles in it, because... because I've got heartburn."
    The bartender says, "Look, lady...it's not beertender, it's bartender. It's not a martuni, it's a martini. It's not a dribble, it's a double. That's not a pickle, it's an onion. And you haven't got heartburn, "
    You have your left tit in the Ashtray!"

    A lady stumbles into a bar. She says, "Beertender, give me a dribble martuni, and put a pickle in it."
    He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.
    She says, "Beertender, give me another dribble martuni, and put a pickle in it." He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.
    She says, "Beertender, give me another dribble martuni, and you better put two pickles in it, because..because I've got heartburn."
    The bartender says, "Look, lady...it's not beertender, it's bartender. It's not a martuni, it's a martini. It's not a dribble, it's a double. That's not a pickle, it's an onion. And you haven't got heartburn, "You have your left tit in the Ashtray!"

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