Payments Jokes

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    Santa on Trial

    Hot 6 years ago

    Santa on Trial
    You are accused, Mr. Santa Claus, alias Saint Nick, alias Kris Kringle, age unknown, of no fixed abode, with the following charges:
    Failing to apply for landed immigrant status from Finland to the North Pole
    Crossing the Canadian-USA border illegally on December 25 of each year as far back as records go
    Failing to operate a union toy shop, and not paying your elves and dwarfs the minimum wage, provide paid vacations and wages at time and a half for more than 40 hour work weeks, or meeting the standards of the Worker's Compensation Boards Failing to transmit unemployment insurance payments, income tax deductions and Canada Pension payments to the proper authorities on behalf of your employees
    You are accused of the illegal entry of millions of Canadian homes on December 25 of each year
    Violating the Federal Anti-Combines Investigation Act by operating a tight monopoly
    Failing to file a flight plan for your travels
    Failing to equip your more...

    A man bought a brand new Grand Cherokee for 30-some thousand dollars with $400+ dollar monthly
    payments. He immediately got hold of his friend and they went to do some male bonding. They went duck
    hunting... and of course, all the lakes are frozen.
    The two went to the lake with the guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle. They drove
    out onto the lake ice and got ready. Now, they wanted to make some kind of a natural landing area for
    the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. Remember, it's all ice and in order to make a hole
    large enough to look like something a wandering duck would want to fly down and land on, it is going
    to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill.
    So, out of the new Grand Cherokee came the new owner, the friend, the dog, and a stick of dynamite
    with a short, 40-second fuse. Now these 2 Rocket Scientists did take into consideration that if they
    placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a more...

    Busted Doc!

    Hot 4 years ago

    A woman was having a medical problem - her husband snoring. So she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering."
    "Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $1000 down, and payments of $450 for 24 months, plus payments for extras."
    "My goodness!" the woman exclaimed, "sounds like leasing a new sports car!"
    "Humm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?"

    A woman was having a medical problem - her husband snoring.
    So she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering."
    "Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $1000 down, and payments of $450 for 24 months, plus payments for extras."
    "My goodness!" the woman exclaimed, "sounds like leasing a new sports car!"
    "Humm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?"

    A woman was having a medical problem - her husband snoring.So she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering.""Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $1000 down, and payments of $450 for 24 months, plus payments for extras.""My goodness!" the woman exclaimed, "sounds like leasing a new sports car!""Humm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?"

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