Dynamite Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Dynamite outhouse

    Hot 4 years ago

    A kid comes home from college. His father is a farmer and he's shovelling all the manure out of the outhouse onto the strawberries to fertilise them.
    The kid says, "Hey, Pop, learned in college there's an easy way to do everything."
    They go downtown and get some dynamite, they're gonna rig it up under the outhouse and blow the crap into the strawberry patch. They get it all rigged up, but they don't see Grandma coming to use the outhouse.
    BaBooom!
    The manure goes flying and so does Grandma. Ploop!... she lands in the strawberries.
    They go running up to her, "Grandma, Grandma! My God, are you all right? Are you all right?"
    She says, "Yeah, I'm fine. Whoo! I'm certainly glad I didn't let that one go in the kitchen!"

    A Short Fuse

    Hot 5 years ago

    A large, powerfully-built guy named Raymond meets a woman named Polly at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, Raymond stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, Raymond flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" Polly begins to drool. Raymond then drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" Polly is just aching for action at this point. Finally, Raymond drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, Polly grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. Raymond catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" Polly then replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"

    A man buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $30, 000+, and has $400. 00+ in monthly payments. He's pretty proud of this rig and gets ahold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride. They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two Atomic Brains go to the lake with their guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the ice. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area to attract ducks - something the decoys will float on. Remember it's all ice, and in order to make a hole large enough to interest a flock of ducks - a hole big enough to entice ducks to land, they needed to use a little more than an ice hole drill... Sooo, out of the back of the brand-new Jeep Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40-second fuse. Now to their credit, these two rocket scientists DID take into consideration that if they placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they (and the new Grand more...

    Truly stupid people

    Hot 3 months ago

    A man buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $30, 000+, and has $400. 00+ in monthly payments. He`s pretty proud of this rig and gets ahold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride. They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two Atomic Brains go to the lake with their guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle.

    They drive out onto the ice. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area to attract ducks - something the decoys will float on.

    Remember it`s all ice, and in order to make a hole large enough to interest a flock of ducks - a hole big enough to entice ducks to land, they needed to use a little more than an ice hole drill...

    Sooo, out of the back of the brand-new Jeep Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40-second fuse. Now to their credit, these two rocket scientists DID take into consideration that if they placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from more...

    A man bought a brand new Grand Cherokee for 30-some thousand dollars with $400+ dollar monthly
    payments. He immediately got hold of his friend and they went to do some male bonding. They went duck
    hunting... and of course, all the lakes are frozen.
    The two went to the lake with the guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle. They drove
    out onto the lake ice and got ready. Now, they wanted to make some kind of a natural landing area for
    the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. Remember, it's all ice and in order to make a hole
    large enough to look like something a wandering duck would want to fly down and land on, it is going
    to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill.
    So, out of the new Grand Cherokee came the new owner, the friend, the dog, and a stick of dynamite
    with a short, 40-second fuse. Now these 2 Rocket Scientists did take into consideration that if they
    placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a more...

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