"Santa on Trial" joke

Hot 7 years ago

Santa on Trial
You are accused, Mr. Santa Claus, alias Saint Nick, alias Kris Kringle, age unknown, of no fixed abode, with the following charges:
Failing to apply for landed immigrant status from Finland to the North Pole
Crossing the Canadian-USA border illegally on December 25 of each year as far back as records go
Failing to operate a union toy shop, and not paying your elves and dwarfs the minimum wage, provide paid vacations and wages at time and a half for more than 40 hour work weeks, or meeting the standards of the Worker's Compensation Boards Failing to transmit unemployment insurance payments, income tax deductions and Canada Pension payments to the proper authorities on behalf of your employees
You are accused of the illegal entry of millions of Canadian homes on December 25 of each year
Violating the Federal Anti-Combines Investigation Act by operating a tight monopoly
Failing to file a flight plan for your travels
Failing to equip your vehicle with seat belts or properly fitting your reindeer with emission control devises Not declaring as taxable income the cookies and milk left for you by millions each year
Illegally competing with the Canadian Post Office, and possible breaking drug laws by administering an unauthorized drug to Rudolph to make his nose light up
And finally, parking in a no parking zone, namely rooftops, and having no record of either a driver's or pilot's licence ever being issued to a Mister Claus in any of the ten provinces and two territories.
Faced with all these accusations and understanding their severity, have you any statement to make before I... wish you a . . Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year and dismiss these charges?

A Cucumber a Pickle and a penis are sitting around talking about how difficult each of their lives are. The cucumber says "I have it the toughest i get chopped up and put into salads." The pickle responds " well i get put into a jar for months filled with my own more...

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

Your momma is so fat when she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck half way down.

You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

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