Burning Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    15 Steps to Build a campfire.
    1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.
    2. Bandage left thumb.
    3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments.
    4. Bandage left foot.
    5. Make structure of slivers(including those embedded in hand).
    6. Light match.
    7. Light match.
    8. Repeat "a scout is cheerful," and light match.
    9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of flames.
    10. Apply Burn ointment to nose.
    11. When fire is burning, collect more wood.
    12. Upon discovery that fire has gone out during your absence, soak wood with liquid from can labeled "kerosene."
    13. Treat face and arms for second degree burns, and relabel your can to read "gasoline."
    14. When fire is burning well, add all remaining wood.
    15. When thunderstorm has passed, repeat steps 1 through 14.

    What is a burning oboe good for? Setting a bassoon on fire.

    A man buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $30, 000+, and has $400. 00+ in monthly payments. He's pretty proud of this rig and gets ahold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride. They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two Atomic Brains go to the lake with their guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the ice. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area to attract ducks - something the decoys will float on. Remember it's all ice, and in order to make a hole large enough to interest a flock of ducks - a hole big enough to entice ducks to land, they needed to use a little more than an ice hole drill... Sooo, out of the back of the brand-new Jeep Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40-second fuse. Now to their credit, these two rocket scientists DID take into consideration that if they placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they (and the new Grand more...

    Truly stupid people

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    A man buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $30, 000+, and has $400. 00+ in monthly payments. He`s pretty proud of this rig and gets ahold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride. They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two Atomic Brains go to the lake with their guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle.

    They drive out onto the ice. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area to attract ducks - something the decoys will float on.

    Remember it`s all ice, and in order to make a hole large enough to interest a flock of ducks - a hole big enough to entice ducks to land, they needed to use a little more than an ice hole drill...

    Sooo, out of the back of the brand-new Jeep Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40-second fuse. Now to their credit, these two rocket scientists DID take into consideration that if they placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from more...

    A man bought a brand new Grand Cherokee for 30-some thousand dollars with $400+ dollar monthly
    payments. He immediately got hold of his friend and they went to do some male bonding. They went duck
    hunting... and of course, all the lakes are frozen.
    The two went to the lake with the guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle. They drove
    out onto the lake ice and got ready. Now, they wanted to make some kind of a natural landing area for
    the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. Remember, it's all ice and in order to make a hole
    large enough to look like something a wandering duck would want to fly down and land on, it is going
    to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill.
    So, out of the new Grand Cherokee came the new owner, the friend, the dog, and a stick of dynamite
    with a short, 40-second fuse. Now these 2 Rocket Scientists did take into consideration that if they
    placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a more...

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