Particles Jokes / Recent Jokes
Administratrium, The New Element
AMES, IA–The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic weight of 0. However, it does have one neuron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of particles called morons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is totally inert. However, it can be detected chemically, since it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. According to its discovers, a tiny amount of Administratium caused on reaction to take over four days to complete; the normal reaction time is less than one second.
Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead more...
Passed on by a friend at work, origin unknown (but probably caused by a quantum fluctuation)
WARNING: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.
WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them.
CAUTION: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.
HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles Per Hour.
CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.
ADVISORY: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Know as "Tunneling," This more...
Administratrium, The New Element
AMES, IA--The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic weight of 0. However, it does have one neuron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of particles called morons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is totally inert. However, it can be detected chemically, since it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. According to its discovers, a tiny amount of Administratium caused on reaction to take over four days to complete; the normal reaction time is less than one second.
Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually more...
SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT!
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by university physicists. The element, tentatively named "Administratium", had no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 15 assistant neutrons, 70 vice neutrons, and 161 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 247. These 247 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium added to one reaction caused it to take over four days to complete. Without the Administratium, the reaction occurred in less than one second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually more...
New Chemical Element Discovered The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered byinvestigators at a major U.S. research university. The element, tentativelynamed administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomicnumber of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic massof 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves thecontinuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can bedetected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with.According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes onereaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normallyoccurred in less than a second.Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at whichtime it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in more...
The recent hurricane and gasoline issues helped prove existence of a new element. In early October [2005] a major research institution announced discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Government."
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons. Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Gv causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second!
Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. more...
1. The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles.
2. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
3. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
4. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.
5. American car horns beep in the tone of F.
6. No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times.
7. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
8. 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
9. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
10. Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.
11. The more...